Child Custody Advice
If you're at the beginning of a child custody journey, don't overwhlem yourself. Learn the basics of the custody process in your location, then research specific questions and topics as your case unfolds. The information below will give you a solid foundation.
What common custody terms should I know?
Start with these basic terms, then expand your knowledge to more custody terms as that becomes necessary.
Legal custody
This is the authority that you and the other parent have to make major decisions for and about your children (decisions about education, medical care, religion, etc).
Physical custody
This is the physical time that you and the other parent have with your children and the time you spend taking care of your children. It can include time when they aren't actually in your presence (like when they go to school during your parenting time).
Joint and sole custody
In a joint custody situation, the parents share the responsibilities of legal and physical custody. In a sole custody situation, one parent is given legal custody and physical custody, and the other parent has visitation rights.
Custody and visitation schedule
This is the schedule that shows when each parent will have time with the children. Generally, parents make a custody calendar that shows where the child will be every day of the year.
Custody agreement / parenting plan
This is a document where you outline how you and the other parent will continue to provide and care for your child after you are separated.
How do I get a parenting plan or custody arrangement?
Usually parenting plans work best when both parents agree on the plan and support it. This means you should try to work with the other parent to create a parenting plan you both believe in.
When you and the other parent agree on the plan, you can submit it to the court for approval. Once the judge has made it official (in other words, turned it into a custody order), you are required by law to follow it.
If you and your co-parent are simply not able to agree, you can go to court and the judge will determine your custody arrangement.
What should a custody agreement contain?
Information about legal custody
You need to specify how you and the other parent will divide and share the responsibility to make decisions about your child.
Information about physical custody
Usually parents fulfill this requirement by making a visitation schedule that shows when each parent will have time with the children. The schedule should include a holiday schedule, a vacation schedule and any special events you already know about.
Information about child support and finances
Within your plan, you should explain how you and the other parent will handle the financial responsibility of your child. Along with child support information, you need to come up with a way to handle any large parenting expenses outside of what child support is designed to cover.
Parenting provisions
You can include any additional parenting provisions (rules) in your plan. Common parenting plan provisions include a process for resolving future disputes, a method for making changes to the plan, information about transportation for exchanges, etc.
Be sure to find out the parenting plan laws in your location. Some places have specific requirements, and others give you a lot of flexibility.
Where can I find more custody advice?
You should never try to approach a custody case completely on your own. Even if you can't afford a lawyer, you have resources to turn to.
Consult a family lawyer
You can hire a family lawyer to represent you through an entire case or just to help with aspects of it (like creating a custody agreement or suggesting evidence). They'll make sure you follow the relevant custody laws. Often, if you have a high-conflict situation, you need a lawyer.
Go to mediation
In custody mediation, both parents sit down with a neutral third party to create a parenting plan. This way you can come to an agreement and avoid court.
Visit your courthouse
Many local courts have information about child custody rules and regulations along with resources to help you file for custody. Ask to speak with the court clerk. Some courts also have staff focused on helping self-represented litigants for free; they may be called a family law facilitator, staff attorney or something similar.
Research online
Sites from courts, legal aid organizations and law firms in your area tend to be the best online resources. You can also look up the family code and read the laws for yourself.
Take parenting classes
Your court or community may offer parenting classes that cover how to help your children adjust to a separation or divorce. Often, these classes offer advice for communicating with your children, working with the other parent, and coming up with beneficial parenting arrangements.
Find parenting support groups
An online or in-person parenting support group can help you handle the challenges of custody and co-parenting. Talking with other parents in similar situations can give you ideas and help you feel more confident.
How can Custody X Change help me?
Throughout your custody case, you'll need to organize a lot of information. You may need to create multiple drafts of parenting plans and schedules, track your expenses, message the other parent and more.
The Custody X Change app enables you to do all of this in one place.
With a parenting plan template, custody calendars, an expense tracker, parent-to-parent messaging and beyond, Custody X Change makes sure you're prepared for whatever arises in your journey to custody and visitation.
Take advantage of our technology to stay on top of all the moving parts of your case.
