Message the Other Parent Civilly — and With a Record

Custody X Change messaging

For parents in a high-conflict situation, talking face-to-face or on a call isn't always the best idea. In fact, judges sometimes prohibit it and instead order parents to communicate with each other solely via Custody X Change.

Visualize your schedule. Get a written parenting plan. Calculate your parenting time.

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With the Custody X Change app, parents can message each other once they've had time to think over a situation calmly, and they get alerted before sending a combative message. Any hostile language gets flagged when they print conversations for the court or for personal records.

To message the other parent, first link Custody X Change accounts. (Both need to be paid versions.)

Beyond sending and receiving messages, you'll be able to:

See read receipts

As soon as the other parent views your message, it's marked "read." This can provide peace of mind, plus serve as important evidence for court.

Monitor hostile language

The Custody X Change hostility monitor alerts parents when they type combative words. Avoiding negative language helps parents focus on their children's needs, rather than on personal grievances.

Label and filter messages

Message labels let you filter what you view and print — and they're always private.

For example, you might print all conversation threads labeled "cancellations" to show how the other parent regularly backs out of custody time. Or you might view the ones labeled "summer camp" to remind you of details you agreed to.

Print and export messages

Print messages to get a report you can present in court or in negotiations. You can also save your report as a PDF or Word document.

To encourage civil communication, the report labels any hostile language.

Attach photos and documents

You can attach images or documents to your messages — perhaps a shot of your child's report card or the itinerary for your upcoming trip. Either parent can then print the files as part of a message report or separately.

Share with your lawyer

If you link your lawyer's Custody X Change account, they can view your conversations with the other parent, print messages and edit message labels. This helps them prepare for court and stay informed.


Here's what some of our customers have said:

There isn't a lot my ex and I agreed on, but the user-friendly program you provided worked for both of us.

Leslie Conn – Toledo, OR

The billing cost from a lawyer to prepare the documents would exceed the cost of the program and would be inferior to what you have developed. ... It is a truly valuable tool!!

Russell King – Jacksonville, FL

We lost on everything until we brought this in. With the software, we got everything we wanted in court. They were just completely shell-shocked because it was presented so well visually. I am completely and totally sold.

Ana Marcyan – Lawyer in Lake Forest, IL

Visualize your schedule. Get a written parenting plan. Calculate your parenting time.

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Explore examples of common schedules

Explore common schedules

Join the 60,000+ other parents who have used our co-parenting tools

Organize your evidence

Track your expenses, journal what happens, and record actual time. Print organized, professional documents.

Co-parent civilly

Our parent-to-parent messaging system, which detects hostile language, lets you collaborate without the drama.

Get an accurate child support order

Child support is based on parenting time or overnights in most jurisdictions. Calculate time instead of estimating.

Succeed by negotiating

Explore options together with visual calendars and detailed parenting plans. Present alternatives and reach agreement.

Never forget an exchange or activity

Get push notifications and email reminders, sync with other calendar apps and share with the other parent.

Save up to $50,000 by avoiding court

Write your parenting agreement without lawyers. Our templates walk you through each step.

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Long distance schedules

Third party schedules


Summer break

Parenting provisions


How to make a schedule

Factors to consider

Parenting plans:

Making a parenting plan

Changing your plan

Interstate, long distance

Temporary plans

Guides by location:

Parenting plans

Scheduling guidelines

Child support calculators

Age guidelines:

Birth to 18 months

18 months to 3 years

3 to 5 years

5 to 13 years

13 to 18 years


Joint physical custody

Sole physical custody

Joint legal custody

Sole legal custody

Product features:

Software overview

Printable calendars

Parenting plan templates

Journal what happens

Expense sharing

Parenting time tracking

Calculate time & overnights

Ways to use:

Succeed by negotiating

Prepare for mediation

Get ready for court


Bring calm to co‑parenting. Agree on a schedule and plan. Be prepared with everything documented.

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No thanks, I don't need a parenting plan