How To Pay for a Divorce Lawyer With No Money

Many divorces are quick and inexpensive, while others drag on and generate huge legal bills. If you can't afford a lawyer, take a step back and think about your divorce process as a whole. There are ways to save money beyond what you may owe a lawyer.

If you feel that your situation — or the court process — is complex or confusing, you should consult a lawyer if at all possible. However, many people do handle their divorces themselves.

The route that will save the most money is for you and your ex to negotiate your desired outcome, write up your agreement and present it to the court. The court may accept it with few or no changes. Your marriage will be dissolved, and custody of your child will be established. Your legal bills (if you hired a lawyer at all) will be minimized.

Reaching a full agreement with your ex

Court cases decide open questions. The fewer open questions you bring to the court, the faster your case can wrap up. Keeping it simple and quick will save you money. If at any point before trial you reach a full agreement with your child's other parent, the court will likely use that to issue its order, and you avoid trial.

Reaching agreement therefore saves you a lot of time and stress — as well as all the money you'd otherwise pour into hiring lawyers to manage your arguments.

First things first: Be clear with each other what's happening in your relationship, and set healthy boundaries so you can start moving forward in separate directions. A spouse who's still in love may be in denial about what's happening. If you're not sure whether your marriage is over, wait until you (and ideally your ex too) are feeling ready to participate in a court case and to see it through. Let each other know what you'll be asking the court to decide. Slow-walking a court case makes it more expensive.

Speaking directly to each other is free. Especially if you intend to co-parent your child going forward, you're going to have to communicate, so this is a good time to start.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Not all parents want to speak directly, however. Not all spouses divorce amicably. You may have a high-conflict breakup. You may not want to deal with their narcissism. Maybe there's been abuse, or maybe you're just dealing with a difficult ex.

To help you reach the best possible compromise, you can go to mediation. A mediator sits you both down in a professional setting and guides you toward an agreement. This is usually quick (as little as one session) and relatively inexpensive (especially if it resolves your whole argument). Your local court system may even offer free mediation. The mediator can write up your agreement for court. You may not need lawyers at all.

If (despite cooperating with your ex) the two of you need more extensive legal help, consider collaborative law or other methods of alternative dispute resolution. In collaborative law, you consult with lawyers and experts with the goal of reaching full agreement.

Many parents — separately or together — use a co-parenting app to help them stay organized and communicate. For example, the Custody X Change app lets you draft a parenting plan with language the court will accept.

Affording the court process (filing fee, service fee, motion fee)

There are a lot of ways to spend — and save — money on your divorce.

Case type: You'll owe a filing fee to the court, so ensure you open the right type of case. Filling out the papers incorrectly could be an expensive error. Family courts in each state or country — or even in each local court system — may charge different fees. In the US, for example, it's typically a few hundred dollars.

Keep in mind:

• Divorces usually include a determination of child custody and support. However, sometimes child custody is determined later (e.g., if you divorce while pregnant), and child support may be set separately by a state agency.
• Your divorce is uncontested if you have a full agreement. These can be scheduled for a hearing much faster — and may not even need a hearing at all. To open your case correctly, look for any court forms called "uncontested" or "nonadversarial."

Fee waiver: If you can't afford the filing fee, apply for a fee waiver. Search the court website for in forma pauperis, which is usually what these fee waivers are called, or ask the court clerk about a fee waiver.

Petition/complaint: If you fill out the initial form on your own (a "petition" or "complaint"), you're the petitioner, aka the plaintiff. Many areas in the U.S. allow you to simply hand it to the other parent as long as they complete a court form waiving their right to service. Otherwise, you must have it served to the other parent, which tends to cost about $50.

Response: If the other parent filled out the initial form, you're the respondent, aka the defendant. When you receive the papers, you must submit a response to the court. You may owe a fee for this; see if you can have it waived.

Joint petition: If neither of you has opened the case yet and you have an option for a joint petition (i.e., an initial form that you fill out together), that may save both of you money because it doesn't need to be served nor responded to. It may also lead to a simplified court schedule.

Accessibility: Many court systems offer language interpretation and disability accommodations free of charge. Make your request a couple weeks in advance, as the assistant may work part time or off site.

E-filing: Consider e-filing your court forms. Many court systems allow self-represented people (people without lawyers) to do this. This means you won't have to keep driving to the post office or the courthouse. There may be small fees involved (perhaps about $10), but weigh that against the cost of printing, postage, gas and mileage.

Motions: Once your case is open, the court may tell you your next steps, but sometimes you need to file a motion to ask the court to move your case along. You'll also have to do this if you have a special request that isn't part of the court's standard process. Motions vary widely in terms of when they're needed, what they're called and whether you have to pay a fee. If your case is already open and you're unsure if you need to file a motion, seek legal advice.

Going without a lawyer (self-represented)

Without a lawyer, you're self-represented (pro se). If the other parent doesn't have a lawyer either, your case might be called DIY divorce — that is, a Do-It-Yourself divorce.

You can't give yourself the level of representation that a lawyer could, but you can read up on the relevant laws and educate yourself about the process.

Court clerks should be able to guide you to the forms you need, but they can't help you fill them out or listen to too many questions. They're not allowed to provide legal advice, so don't ask them what you should say.

Ask your local legal aid society about legal clinics that can provide personalized assistance. They're used to hearing people ask: "How do you get a divorce with no money?" They should also have experience with sensitive family situations.

Hiring an affordable lawyer

At standard rates, a lawyer charges hundreds of dollars per hour. They typically ask for a retainer, which is a large advance payment. Some cases — especially when parents are fighting or avoiding the court — last a year or more. Each parent may spend tens of thousands of dollars on legal fees.

Be mindful of how quickly charges can rack up. For example: A lawyer who charges $400 per hour might bill in minimum 15-minute increments. That means if you call with a tiny question about how to fill out a form, you could receive a bill for $100, even if you were on the phone for only two minutes. Likewise, they could send you this bill if they call you with a small question.

Options for cheaper approaches:

• Consult with a local nonprofit organization called a legal aid society. Every location has its own family law and court rules, so consult locally.
• Ask if you qualify for legal representation that's free (pro bono) or at a reduced rate. Especially if you have a true emergency or you can document your limited income, it's worth asking.
• Some lawyers advertise "unbundled services" or "limited scope representation." They'll do specific tasks for you (like writing a financial agreement) or give you full representation up to a certain point (like the day you go to court-ordered mediation). Don't pressure them to do more. Saying "I need a divorce lawyer and have no money" won't get you anywhere.
• Some lawyers charge a flat fee (usually under $1,000) to draw up the papers for an uncontested divorce. The court's filing fee has to be paid too, so find out if the lawyer includes this in the price they quote you.

Even if the lawyer is working for free or at a generous discount, do as much as you can on your end. Stay organized and make direct requests for the help you need. Not only should you be respectful of the lawyer's time, but you'll save money when your case moves along.

Remember: You may just need a compromise that you and your ex can live with. Your divorce doesn't have to be about winning or losing. Most parents settle their case before trial. A lawyer who helps you settle helps you take a relatively inexpensive path.

Paying your lawyer as your case progresses (not just when it ends)

Your divorce lawyer can educate you about your options, complete paperwork and fulfill other tasks. You have to pay them for the work they do while they're doing it.

Unlike in a personal injury lawsuit, you have to pay your divorce lawyer even if you "lose." This is because:

• Your lawyer doesn't want to be underpaid. Many divorces involve no significant assets, but the lawyer still needs to be paid fairly.
• You don't want to overpay your lawyer. If your ex has significant assets, you wouldn't want your lawyers to automatically get a percentage of what should be given to you and your child.
• You shouldn't fight about the timeline. If lawyers were paid at the end, you (or your ex) might drag out your case to delay payment, while your lawyers would be incentivized to rush to wrap it up.
• If all the adults prioritized "winning," the best interests of your child could be ignored or misportrayed.

Your lawyer's work can be valuable day by day as it reflects the changing preferences, circumstances and needs of you and your child. For example, if your ex doesn't respond to your phone call, your lawyer helps you by placing a call that your ex picks up.

Respecting the lawyer's time

Your lawyer charges for their time, which includes listening to you or doing tasks that seem minor. These minutes add up.

Don't waste time venting about your ex ("you'll never guess what ridiculous thing they posted to social media") or talking about anything else you won't be bringing up in court ("I can't find the grocery bill I wanted to show you").

Don't ask them to do administrative tasks like internet searches, reading and summarizing information for you, retyping your documents, or organizing your child's school and medical records. Buy any computer programs you need and do your own data entry.

Write a divorce checklist, pick your battles, and prioritize your next steps. Try to do everything correctly the first time. If you have to take one afternoon off work to drive to the courthouse for paperwork, you don't want to have to return to fix your errors.

Do as much as you can on your own. Consider who else you can ask for help: a librarian, a disability support worker, a friend. Call or email your lawyer only when you have a specific question that's relevant to your case.

When your ex has more money than you do

If your ex has financial resources that you don't, a court may decide they owe you spousal maintenance (alimony). You may receive an order that's temporary (the maintenance is to be paid while your court case is ongoing) or permanent (to be paid after your divorce is finalized). Similarly, you may receive a temporary child support order to be paid right now, or only a permanent order to take effect once you're divorced.

In the United States, retirement accounts can be split through a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO).

Find out if your ex is willing to cover the cost of a co-parenting app. The Custody X Change app lets one parent pay for the other's subscription.

You can use the app to suggest co-parenting schedules and message each other. This is in your ex's interest too, since communicating with you directly helps them save money on their legal fees.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

If your ex hires a lawyer

When you find out that your ex has a lawyer, you may feel scared. You may wonder: "What if the lawyer is aggressive? What if they use language I don't understand?"

Consider that they have no need to intimidate you as long as you respond promptly and respectfully to their communication and comply with the court's requirements. If you stay on top of your responsibilities, then when your ex's lawyer contacts you, you can reply calmly.

When your ex's lawyer first contacts you, it's reasonable to introduce yourself briefly. You can say you're low-income and have no lawyer. They'll find out anyway, and they need to know they should contact you directly.

You might also worry: "What if they try to take away my kids? What if they demand money I don't have?" This happens in some divorces. But here's another possibility: Your ex may have hired the lawyer simply to prepare for court, make the whole process easier, and move the case along swiftly. And that may be for the best.

With that said, when your ex hires a divorce lawyer, you should ask yourself seriously whether you can find a way to get legal representation yourself. If your ex seeks child custody, wants your assets or is taking advantage of you, having your own lawyer could save you money, stress and more in the long run.

After your divorce settlement

While you're asking yourself how to pay for a divorce lawyer with no money, consider the benefits of reaching a settlement. You and your ex-spouse will have a new co-parenting relationship, and a co-parenting app can be vital to making it work.

The Custody X Change online app has a thorough set of co-parenting tools: shared calendars, parent-to-parent messaging, expense tracking and more.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Turn to Custody X Change to ensure the best possible future for your child and your evolving family.