The Basics of Shared Parenting

In a sole custody arrangement, one parent has the child the majority of the time with occasional visits to the other parent. By contrast, shared custody heavily involves both parents.

What is shared custody?

Shared custody typically refers to joint legal custody, meaning both parents are responsible for making important decisions in their child's life.

How does shared custody work?

Ideally, parents should keep open lines of communication with each other and be prepared to compromise.

However, even the most amicable parents will have disagreements. That's why a solid parenting plan is a vital part of any shared custody agreement.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

What is shared parenting?

Shared parenting typically refers to joint physical custody, which means both parents have significant time with their child. This kind of arrangement allows both of them a chance to actively parent.

More and more parents are moving away from "traditional" custody agreements that consist of a custodial and a noncustodial parent. Many court systems are moving away from those old assumptions too.

You may hear shared parenting, shared custody and joint custody used interchangeably. Ask your court if it prefers certain terms.

How does shared parenting work?

Parents might have a 50/50 time split (equal time).

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

They could have a 60/40 split.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Or even a 70/30 split.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

As more parents accept responsibility, realizing that their child needs both parents as active participants in their life, every other weekend parents (that's an 80/20 split) and "Disneyland Dads" are becoming less common. In 2018 in the United States, fathers on average received 35% of parenting time, according to a Custody X Change study, and family law continues to trend in favor of equal time.

Is shared parenting the right option for us?

This kind of arrangement requires that both parents make a meaningful effort to stay involved in their child's life for the benefit of the child. You can both be active parents even if you break up or divorce.

Many parents try to stick together "for the kids," or (if they've already broken up) try to get back together, because they don't want their child to:

• Feel the emotional toll of the parents' divorce
• Be shuttled back and forth between homes
• Go long periods without seeing a parent
• Sense that one parent is absent from their life

These parents mean well. However, there may come a point where separation is best for the parents — and if the parents' relationship is truly over, staying together "for the kids" isn't healthy for anyone involved. The parents may need to find another way to work together to support their child.

A shared parenting agreement is an acknowledgement that, although the parents are no longer together, they both have an important role. They set aside personal grievances to provide the best possible upbringing for their child.

Shared parenting isn't for everyone. If a court finds that one parent is unfit, that parent could be limited to supervised visits. Or if the two of you have a toxic dynamic, you may be unable to coordinate for the sake of your child (at least until you sort out your issues). But if you're willing to work with the other parent to give your child the best possible schedule, shared parenting may work for you.

What are some of the benefits of shared parenting?

Studies have shown that shared parenting arrangements are beneficial to children.

When comparing children who are primarily raised by one parent with those raised in the shared parenting style, the children in shared parenting environments:

• Are less likely to try to pit parents against each other
• Are better behaved because they know the lines of communication between parents are open
• Are more successful both academically and socially
• Are less likely to suffer from depression and are generally happier
• Are less likely to need treatment for emotional and behavioral problems
• Are better adjusted and less likely to suffer from post-separation anxiety and confusion
• Have less negative feelings and experiences during the aftermath of the divorce
• Have more positive attitudes about the impact of the divorce on their lives
• Are more satisfied with their living arrangements
• Have higher feelings of self-worth

These are just some of the benefits of shared parenting. The bottom line is that children who are actively raised by two parents are typically happier than children in sole custody situations.

How can I make shared parenting work for us?

Though your romantic relationship is ending, your parenting relationship isn't. You remain your child's parents and will share that bond for the rest of your lives.

When you separate or divorce, your co-parenting roles and dynamics will change. The way you treat each other will have a direct impact on your child.

Putting your differences aside for the sake of your child may be difficult at first, but it will become easier over time. In fact, parents who are able to treat each other with civility and mutual respect generally become friendlier with each other over the years.

How can I make a successful parenting plan?

The key to creating a successful parenting plan is to be as detailed and as thorough as possible, but also stay flexible.

Anticipate how your child's needs will change as they grow. Be honest about what kind of boundaries you need too. You may avoid many disputes in the future.

A comprehensive parenting plan should include:

• A basic custody schedule
• A schedule for holidays and special occasions
• Provisions for vacation time
• A statement describing parental authority and decision-making
• A method of dispute resolution
• A method for modifying the plan
• Any rules, stipulations or provisions you'd like to include

However, even the most brilliant parenting plans will fail if the other parent refuses to comply.

Make every effort to propose a plan both of you can agree on so that you'll both feel motivated to stick to it. This may require a bit of compromise and a lot of patience.

How can Custody X Change help with my shared custody agreement?

Creating a detailed parenting plan doesn't have to be a difficult or painstaking process if you have the right tools.

Custody X Change is a child custody online app that allows you to create your parenting plan and schedule.

Just enter the requested information. The app prompts you to enter the exchange times when your child goes to the other parent and returns to you. It lets you schedule holidays and activities too, and add any other one-time schedule changes.

Choose from the parenting provisions provided in the program, or make your own custom stipulations. For example, you could say that a parent must notify the other before getting the child a passport.

You can link accounts with your child's other parent, your child, or your lawyer. They can see your shared calendar so they'll always know what to expect. You can also print copies of your parenting plan and custody schedule to show them privately or to take to mediation or court.

The app also calculates the timeshare percentage, which is useful for determining the amount of child support.

Try Custody X Change today and see how it can help you.