Prepare for Your Consultation With a Divorce Lawyer

If you don't know whether you need to hire a divorce lawyer — or which one you want to hire — you can ask one for a consultation. Experienced lawyers will recognize which parts of your case might benefit from their assistance.

A divorce lawyer usually won't promise you that you'll win your case; as a matter of professional ethics, they may not be allowed to say that. They can, however, tell you which potential outcomes are realistic for you, what you can do to help persuade your ex to settle, and how to strengthen your argument before the court.

Before consulting a divorce lawyer, prepare your divorce consultation questions.

Know whether you're eligible to file for divorce

Look up the residency requirements in your location. Most jurisdictions won't allow you to file for divorce unless someone in the case (you, your spouse or child) has lived in the area for a certain period of time. The requirement could be for several months or as much as a year. Having some other connection to the area, like having married there, may also suffice.

Some areas also require a minimum length of separation from your spouse, unless you're seeking a fault-based divorce (e.g., for abuse).

If you recently moved to the area alone (without your spouse or child), or if you and your spouse are still living together, you may not be eligible to file quite yet. Keep this in mind when deciding when to consult a divorce lawyer. You can speak to a lawyer at any time, but the lawyer may say you have to wait, or even relocate to a new home, before opening your case.

Questions to ask a divorce lawyer during consultation

Before you go to your consultation, ask the lawyer what you should bring. If you've already filed a petition (aka complaint) for divorce, or if you've been served with your ex's petition, the lawyer will need to see it. It may also help to bring documentation of any previous court cases you've had — including bankruptcies, criminal cases, protective orders, or custody or support orders for another child.

You might start with these basic questions, if these are concerns for you:

• How long does it take to finalize a divorce typically?
• What do you charge per hour? Will I have to pay a retainer (a large advance payment)?
• Do you charge a flat fee for uncontested divorces or other unbundled services (distinct tasks)?
• What is my divorce likely to cost in total? What would cause it to cost more or less?
• Will you be the only lawyer working on my case, or will someone else at your firm be involved too?
• What strengths or specialties do you have as a divorce lawyer?

Divorce consultation checklist

The lawyer will have questions for you too. They may ask you to provide information ahead of time. Be ready to provide relevant facts.

First, if you have any urgent needs or if you anticipate emergencies, make sure the lawyer understands them. Tell the lawyer if you have:

• Safety concerns
• Financial concerns (e.g., buying groceries and staying housed)
• Disabilities they should be aware of (e.g., you can't speak by phone)
• Medical needs (like frequent hospitalizations) that may limit your availability
• Concerns about your child's well-being or adjustment

Explain where you are in the legal process. Tell them whether:

• You've told your spouse you plan to seek a divorce
• You've taken any legal steps toward the divorce
• You're mostly aware of the court process for divorce or you'd like them to explain it from the beginning

Provide basic information about you and your spouse:

• Your full legal names and birth dates
• Your government ID numbers (e.g., for U.S. citizens, your Social Security numbers)
• The dates you met, moved in together, married and (if applicable) separated
• Your current addresses and other contact information
• Your employers and incomes

Similarly, for any children involved in your case:

• Full legal names and birth dates
• Government ID numbers
• Addresses

Give the lawyer a sense of your unique circumstances. In this brief consultation, you can't tell your life story, but give an overview of what you need legal help with. Focus on what you hope a divorce can improve (like getting a child support order) rather than on complaining about your ex. Say whether you and your spouse:

• Own a home, what it's worth and what you still owe on it
• Receive public assistance
• Currently have other romantic partners
• Have emotional arguments
• Trust each other to be truthful with important facts
• Can rely on each other to care for your child (e.g., get them ready for school)
• Have a strong emotional bond with your kids
• Know what parenting time schedule you'll propose
• Have drafted a parenting plan (separately or together) with rules for how you'll parent

Divorce lawyer consultation fees

Legal help gives you your best chance at a good outcome. Unfortunately, it's expensive. Many people look at what a divorce consultation costs and decide not to book one at all. When someone doesn't want to pay to talk to a lawyer even briefly, they may delay filing for divorce, or they may file for divorce without speaking to a lawyer.

Free consultations

Some lawyers don't charge a consultation fee. They want to encourage people to get in the door of their office. That's not only because they hope the person will hire them; often, they sincerely want to help people on limited budgets by giving them a small amount of advice.

The downside of free consultations is that some divorcing spouses treat them too casually. A person may go to the consultation just to complain about their ex — or they don't show up for the consultation at all. This wastes the lawyer's time. The real missed opportunity is for the divorcing person who isn't truly seeking, hearing or absorbing the legal advice.

Paid consultations

Many lawyers do charge a consultation fee. They often base their fee on their standard rates. For example, a lawyer who charges $300 per hour might charge a $300 flat fee for an initial consultation.

Some lawyers credit your initial consultation fee toward your future legal expenses, should you hire them.

Programs that arrange an initial consultation for you — e.g., you contact a legal aid organization or the local bar association, and they refer you to a lawyer — may be designed to be more affordable. However, just because the initial consultation is cheap doesn't mean the lawyer can take your whole case at a discounted rate. If you can't afford standard rates, make that clear when you inquire.

It's fair for a lawyer to ask to be paid for their time. Be fair to yourself, too, by preparing well so you can get your money's worth. You'll be an active participant in your own divorce. This will affect the rest of your life and your child's life. Plan what you want to tell the lawyer, pay full attention, give serious thought to their suggestions, and be ready to chart your divorce goals.

Use an app to prepare for a legal consultation

Preparation is key to getting what you want from your divorce. The Custody X Change app gives divorcing parents important tools: a parenting plan template, custody calendars, an expense tracker and more. You can print your documents for the lawyer you consult with to give them a clear idea of what you want.

Try this with Custody X Change.

Take advantage of our technology to stay on top of all the moving parts of your case.