How To Get Legally Separated

Some spouses choose legal separation versus divorce because they are not ready to divorce or cannot divorce due to finances or religious or personal beliefs. It allows you to split property, debts, child custody and more while remaining married. Knowing how to legally separate can help you decide whether it's right for you.

How to file for legal separation

Every state has its procedure for filing for legal separation. Generally, you can get legally separated in a state where at least one spouse lives. Most locations don't require you to have a ground (reason) for filing.

The typical process for filing for legal separation is as follows.

1. Fill out your forms

You'll start by filling out a complaint (also called an application or petition) for separation. Your jurisdiction may have a form for spouses who want to file for separation jointly after reaching an agreement.

Complaints often include a list of additional forms to attach, like your marriage certificate, your children's birth certificates, financial and property valuation statements, and proof of income.

2. File your forms with the court

Take your forms to the local court that handles legal separation cases. The court clerk will provide you with copies of your complaint to keep for your records and to give to your spouse.

3. Serve your spouse

Service is how your spouse receives notice of the case. The court may waive the service requirement if you have an agreement.

You'll need to give your spouse a copy of your complaint and a summons. Your court may allow you to serve your spouse yourself. Others require you to hire a sheriff or professional process server to do it.

Your spouse will have time to respond to the complaint, usually 30 days. If they do not respond, you may get a default judgment with all the terms you asked for.

If you reach a legal separation agreement

The simplest way to get legally separated is by agreement. You can negotiate an agreement with your spouse on your own, with the help of a lawyer or through an alternative dispute resolution method.

You or your lawyer must write a separation agreement. Some courts have templates you can fill in, or you can find a template online. If you have children, it will need to address custody during your separation. Include a parenting plan as a sort of manual to prevent co-parenting disagreements.

You may not have to appear in court. If the court requires a hearing, you'll appear before a judge to confirm that at least one of you lives in the jurisdiction, you both agree on everything, and the custody and child support terms are in the best interests of the child.

In New York and some other states, you don't have to file any paperwork with the court. So long as both parents sign the agreement in the presence of a notary, you're legally separated. You may file the agreement with the court or county clerk if you wish.

If you don't reach a legal separation agreement

A judge will decide the terms of your decree of separation if you can't agree.

You'll have a hearing where you or your lawyer will present arguments and evidence in favor of the terms you're asking for. The judge will make a decision and sign a decree of separation to end your case. These terms may carry over to your divorce decree should you decide to end your marriage.

Legal separation cost

Costs vary based on your location, whether you hire a lawyer and whether you've reached an agreement. If you reach an agreement, you may just owe the cost of filing your paperwork, which is often a few hundred dollars. If you need a judge to decide, you could rack up thousands in attorney and court fees.

Use technology for your legal separation

The Custody X Change online app has all the tools you need to address the child-related parts of your legal separation.

With a parenting plan template, custody calendars, an expense tracker and more, Custody X Change is the perfect tool to lay out the child custody terms of your separation agreement — and to follow them.

Take advantage of our technology to make your legal separation go smoothly.