Co-Parent Communication Guide | Parenting Communication Apps

Effective communication is key to successful co-parenting, but past relationship issues and clashing parenting styles can make it seem impossible.

Parenting apps can help you avoid a communication breakdown. The best ones encourage civil conversation and keep a record of parenting messages.

Parenting communication apps

With so many options, choosing a co-parent communication app can be tricky. To narrow down your choices, consider cost and the other features the apps have to offer. You might use more than one app.

Here are four of the most popular co-parenting apps. For all of them, both parents need an account to use the communication features.

Custody X Change

Custody X Change is the best app for cooperative co-parenting.

Its parent-to-parent messaging tool:

• Alerts you to change hostile language before you hit "send"
• Gives read receipts with time stamps
• Also gives sent time stamps
• Lets you attach photos and documents
• Lets you give legal professionals access
• Lets you print and download messages by topic or date

Custody X Change also helps you build a parenting plan where you can lay out ground rules for communication, decision-making and more. Choose from popular provisions or create your own to generate a court-ready document.

The parenting time calculator is another unique feature. It makes sure you get a fair child support order and the time you deserve with your child.

Custody X Change has monthly and annual subscriptions, including a family plan that lets one parent cover the cost for both parents.

Our Family Wizard

Our Family Wizard is probably the most well-known co-parenting app.

Its phone and video calling feature:

• Only allows calls if both parents have the feature turned on
• Can be used for virtual visits with the kids as well as co-parent communication
• Logs information like who started the call and who turned their camera off

The app lets parents check in when they arrive at an exchange. There's also an in-app payment system so parents can reimburse one another for child-related expenses.

It offers annual subscriptions only, so you have to pay for a full year up front.

Talking Parents

Talking Parents is often court-ordered for high-conflict co-parents.

The app's accountable calling feature is for phone and video calling. You can:

• Connect via internet so you don't have to share phone numbers
• Receive phone calls with a free plan
• Record and transcribe calls

Outside of parenting communication, the app offers a storage space for photos, videos, custody documents and more. Unalterable records help prove the authenticity of documents if challenged.

Monthly and annual plans are available.

AppClose

AppClose is another popular co-parenting app.

Its audio and video calling feature:

• Keeps a log of every call placed, even if the other parent doesn't answer
• Can record calls, but doesn't share location to ensure privacy
• Only allows calls to go through if both parents have the feature enabled

There's also a messenger that allows group chats and private chats between you and your attorney.

"Requests" is another helpful feature. This sends a notification to the other parent whenever you want to change an exchange time or ask for reimbursement for a child-related cost. You'll get a notification when they respond.

Why communicate through an app?

Co-parent communication apps can help you:

• Stay organized: Receiving calls and texts about your child through a parent communication app makes those conversations the priority so you don't miss anything.
• Keep your child out of conflict: Using an app gives you a space to discuss issues out of your child's sight so they aren't put in the middle of conflict.
• Protect yourself: Parenting communication apps spare you from having to share your phone number, essential for victims of domestic violence.
• Be accountable for your words: If you use software that monitors language, you'll know when you're using hurtful words you might otherwise not consider harmful. This lets you pivot to a more positive approach.
• Improve your co-parenting relationship: Using an app shows parents they can work together to solve problems. Cooperation can carry over into other aspects of co-parenting.
• Keep a record for court: A transcript or recording of a conversation helps prove a claim in court.

Co-parent communication guidelines

You might feel like you need to walk on eggshells whenever you communicate with your co-parent. Follow these guidelines to help things go smoothly.

Make sure your children remain top priority

When parents can't communicate, their kids are left in limbo waiting for their parents to decide big things, like where they go to school, or small things, like whether they can go on a field trip. Put aside your personal feelings and do what needs to be done to make your child feel secure.

Keep an open mind

Try to understand the other parent's perspective, even if you disagree. You'll have to settle on decisions that don't align with exactly what you want; what matters most is the child's best interests.

Don't let anger overtake you

Take a break when things get too heated. Don't send a message in the heat of your anger. Wait until you cool down and process what you want to say. Re-read what you've written before sending. If you're talking on the phone, politely say you need a moment to think.

Schedule time to discuss co-parenting

It's important to set co-parenting boundaries. Setting out time to speak will limit how often you communicate, which, for many, means less chances of a blow up. You can set other boundaries as well like how many texts you can send in a day and deadlines to respond to time-sensitive matters.

Be respectful

You'll get nowhere with name calling and accusations. You don't have to be friends, but you should at least respect one another as parents. Eventually, you might develop a stronger bond after it becomes apparent you both want what's best for your child.

Get outside help if needed

Hire a mediator or parenting coordinator if you find communication especially difficult. Mediators can facilitate conversations while parenting coordinators can make decisions for you when need be. As a last resort, you could communicate through lawyers, but it is significantly more costly.

Before you write directly to the other parent, show a draft to a friend or relative for feedback if you're worried about how you'll come off.

Co-parenting text messages examples

Since every situation is different, there's no catch-all way to respond to your co-parent. But here are some examples of healthy ways to communicate, whether through a parenting text app or in person.

See what productive communication looks like in Custody X Change.

Stay on topic, and keep messages to the point.

Try this with Custody X Change.

Be honest, and communicate in advance.

Be cordial, even when you can't get on the same page.