Parental Alienation Syndrome: Debate, Signs, Treatment
Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is controversial. Some people believe a child can develop it when one parent has turned them against the other though manipulation. But many health organizations say it doesn't exist.
PAS is not a medically recognized condition. Still, claims of PAS are common in family court, and it can play a major role in cases.
What is parental alienation syndrome?
According to proponents of the theory, PAS is a condition in which a child rejects a parent due to false ideas implanted by their other parent. It's sometimes called malicious parent syndrome.
These proponents say PAS can ruin the parent-child relationship and leave a child scarred.
PAS is closely related to parental alienation, which is the manipulative parent's behavior.
Debate about parental alienation syndrome
Parental alienation syndrome is not listed as a mental health condition by the American Psychiatric Association. PAS doesn't have the research or scientific backing required for recognition.
Many mental health professionals and organizations deny or question its legitimacy, including the:
Debates about PAS often center on the following.
Lack of presence outside of family court
PAS mostly gets mentioned in family court cases. It's commonly claimed in cases involving wealthy parents. They can afford to pay experts that support their claims.
Potential danger for abuse victims
Parental alienation has become a common defense against abuse allegations. The accused claims that the other parent convinced the child of the abuse or encouraged them to knowingly make false claims.
To reunify an accused parent and their child, judges often place the child in the accused parent's care. If allegations aren't investigated — or the judge dismisses the findings — a child could end up in the custody of their abuser. The possibility might keep victims and their parents from speaking out against abusers.
Bias against mothers
A 2020 study from George Washington University Law School found that mothers are nearly twice as likely to lose custody than fathers when accused of parental alienation. Some critics tie these outcomes to misogyny.
Profitable business
There's a lot of money involved in cases that claim PAS. Lawyers, custody evaluators and therapists make tens of thousands of dollars to represent clients or provide testimony in court.
Treatment of PAS is also expensive. The most affordable reunification camps cost around $10,000 for just a few days of treatment, not including the travel costs for the family.
Signs of parental alienation syndrome
Since PAS isn't a recognized mental health condition, there aren't any official symptoms.
Children may be said to have PAS if they:
- Refuse to visit or have contact with a parent, but don't have a good reason
- Take drastic action to avoid spending time with a parent (e.g., running away, threatening self-harm)
- Repeat one parent's criticisms of the other parent, especially about things they can't understand
- Never criticize the parent accused of alienation, and always defend them against criticism
- Suddenly turn against a parent with no explanation
- React with outrage when a parent is mentioned
- Obsess about their dislike of the parent
- Believe false information about the parent
Causes of parental alienation syndrome
Those who believe PAS is a valid condition say it may develop when:
- A child is repeatedly told lies about their parent's actions or personality.
- A child is shown false evidence of their parent's supposed issues.
- A parent consistently trashes the other parent to or in front of the child.
- A child is prevented from having contact with their parent or the parent's family members.
- One parent acts as though the other doesn't exist or makes the child try to forget them.
Treatment of parental alienation syndrome
Ways to try to reverse PAS include:
- No-contact orders: A judge may issue a no-contact order lasting 90 days or longer. During this time, the child cannot have contact with the alienating parent. The child lives with the alienated parent and goes to therapy with them.
- Reunification therapy: Reunification therapy tries to repair parent-child relationships. There are also reunification camps, which are onsite programs for children and alienated parents.
- Sole custody: A judge might give custody to the alienated parent, and only allow the other parent limited visitation (or no visitation). Sometimes, the noncustodial parent can earn more visitation by going to therapy or admitting they participated in parental alienation.
Reunification camp criticism
Reunification camps are pricey in-patient therapy programs for alienated parents and their children. There isn't enough research to show these camps are effective, but some courts issue orders for parents and children to attend.
Some of these camps have come under fire because of:
- Unqualified organizers: Many camps aren't run mental health professionals, nor do they have adequate training to facilitate therapy.
- Trauma to children: Some programs forcibly remove children from their homes. Former participants claim they were threatened and deprived of basic needs if they didn't follow instructions. Children have reported experiencing depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts after attending.
- Indoctrination: Some children are forced to deny abuse accusations they made against the alienated parent. They may also have to claim the alienating parent is actually the abuser and not safe to be around.
Can you recover from parental alienation syndrome?
Since parental alienation syndrome has no official medical backing, there are no set guidelines for recovery. However, it is possible to repair an unreasonably broken parent-child relationship with time and therapy.
A licensed family therapist has the know-how to reunite a parent and child in a healthy way. They can also help participants unpack the trauma related to their separation.
Allowing the child to gradually spend more time with the other parent (as in a step-up parenting plan) is a healthy way to integrate a parent into a child's life. This helps build bonds of trust and helps the child see how their parent actually is, which challenges the beliefs their other parent may have instilled in them.
Proving the truth in court
With the right evidence, you can show that the other parent is trying to disrupt your relationship with your child — or prove that you aren't.
The Custody X Change app has many features to help.
- Use co-parent messaging to export messages that will show what's really happening.
- Keep a journal to log interactions with the other parent and your child's behavior.
- Document your parenting schedule to show how much time each parent gets with your child.
Whether you are an alienated parent or an accused alienator, Custody X Change can help you get the truth out.
Frequently asked questions
Is parental alienation syndrome the same as parental alienation?
They are different. Parental alienation syndrome is what some believe a child develops after they experience parental alienation. Parental alienation is the act of a parent keeping a child away from the other to harm the parent-child relationship.
Are there any laws against parental alienation?
No. However, allowing the child to have contact with the other parent is part of the best interest of the child standard. When making a custody decision, judges factor in whether a parent would encourage a relationship between their child and the other parent.
My child is showing signs of parental alienation syndrome. What should I do?
Reach out to the other parent. Your child becoming distant may not have anything to do with the other parent. Your child could be going through a phase, having trouble at school or experiencing some other difficulty. If the other parent is violating your custody order, you can take them to court. If you believe your child is in danger, you can file for emergency custody.