Best Co-Parenting App for High Conflict: 3 Options
High-conflict co-parents struggle to get on the same page, making co-parenting especially difficult. A co-parenting app acts as an intermediary so they can see past their personal conflicts and focus on raising their kids.
The best co-parenting app for high conflict depends on what you need. Use Custody X Change for time tracking, TalkingParents for call recording, and Civil Communicator for email moderation.
Best for parenting time tracking: Custody X Change
Custody X Change tracks parenting time to give you an accurate calculation of how much time each parent actually spends with their child.
Use the actual time tracker to plug in deviations from the schedule, like late drop-offs and missed visits, to see how they impact parenting time.
Print out a parenting time report to present in court. It can help you prove a parent has denied you visits or not shown up for visits. This could help you change the custody order. Parenting time reports also ensure you get an accurate child support order.
The National Parents Organization named Custody X Change one of the best co-parenting apps to reduce conflict. It said Custody X Change is particularly great if you "want detailed, accurate records of parenting time."
Best for call recording: TalkingParents
TalkingParents has an accountable calling feature that allows parents to keep a record of phone and video calls. This gives you evidence for court — plus, calls often go more smoothly when parents know they're recorded and transcribed.
The feature also lets you hide your phone number so the other parent can't contact you outside the app.
It's recommended by Melissa Schwarz, a parenting expert. "When you're co-parenting in a high-conflict or legally complex situation, you need more than casual communication," she said. "You need a system that helps you manage custody, stay calm, and remain protected."
Video calling is allowed in any country where TalkingParents is available. Phone calling is limited to the U.S. and Canada. The amount of call time you get depends on your plan.
See how Custody X Change and TalkingParents compare.
Best for email moderation: Civil Communicator
Civil Communicator has a staff member review and approve your co-parenting emails.
A review team decides whether your emails should be forwarded as is, revised or rejected. For the first two weeks, you also get personalized suggestions.
Civil Communicator can also monitor and record phone or video calls.
Lawyer Georgina Melbye said her firm, Kalamaya Goscha, recommends this hands-on approach to co-parents who can't discuss their child without vitriol.
But Civil Communicator is the most expensive of the three best co-parenting apps for high conflict, so many parents don't go this route unless a court orders them to.
Best co-parenting apps for high conflict compared
| Custody X Change | Talking Parents | Civil Communicator | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Calendars | ✔ | ✔ | ✔ |
| Expense tracking | ✔ | ✔ | ✔ |
| Private journal | ✔ | ✔ | ✔ |
| Email moderation | ✔ (Automated) | ✔ (Automated) | ✔ (Human) |
| Child-info storage | ✔ | ✔ | ✘ |
| Parenting time tracking | ✔ | ✘ | ✘ |
| Parenting plan template | ✔ | ✘ | ✘ |
| Linking with other people | ✔ | ✘ | ✔ |
| Co-parent payment system | ✘ | ✔ | ✘ |
| Call recording | ✘ | ✔ | ✔ |
The apps have many features in common. However, only Custody X Change has parenting time tracking and a parenting plan template, and only TalkingParents has a co-parent payment system.
Why you need a co-parenting app when there's high conflict
Parents in high conflict need a way to manage co-parenting that involves little direct contact.
The best co-parenting apps for high conflict have:
- Co-parent messaging: Messaging tools like the one from Custody X Change highlight destructive language and let you print conversations for court. Insults and belittling are common signs of inappropriate co-parenting.
- Parenting plan template: Creating a high-conflict parenting plan means you won't need to talk to each other about how to handle many parenting matters — it's all spelled out in the plan.
- Expense tracker: Enter child-related expenses so you'll know how much you've spent and how much the other parent owes you. Upload receipts as proof.
A co-parenting app is vital for parents at all conflict levels as it makes working together easier. An app could spare high-conflict co-parents years of fighting and help them maintain a healthy environment for their children.
Frequently asked questions
Why should high-conflict co-parents track parenting time?
When you've gotten off schedule, tracking parenting time provides unbiased data to help you get back on — or to change the custody order. Parenting time is also important for calculating child support in many places.
How do I convince my co-parent to use an app?
You could bring it up in mediation. You could pay for their subscription. (Custody X Change and Civil Communicator offer this option.) Or you could ask your judge to order the use of an app.
Is it common to use more than one co-parenting app?
Yes, high-conflict co-parents often use more than one. For example, you might use TalkingParents to record calls and pay your co-parent, and use Custody X Change to track parenting time and collaborate with your lawyer.
What else can I do to deal with my high-conflict co-parent?
The best tips for dealing with a high-conflict co-parent include making a clear parenting plan and keeping communication in writing. Attorney Neemi B. Patel also recommends noticing when you're after the "high" of a fight and opting for a calmer response.