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Examining Sole Custody Parenting Plans

Determining custody is one of the most critical decisions when parents divorce, and the court’s decision ultimately depends on what is in the best interest of the children. There are many different components to sole custody and what it means for you, the other parent and your children.

The custody of your children is divided into legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody allows one parent to make decisions on behalf of the children, such as in medical or educational situations. Physical custody refers to which parent the children will live with the majority of the time, allowing scheduled visitations from the non-custodial parent.

The court can combine these two types of custody in a variety of ways. You may encounter both parents receiving joint legal custody with one parent receiving sole physical custody.  In this instance, a sole custody schedule must be established to outline the time and duration of the non-custodial parent’s visits with the children.

If one parent is unfit, both legal and physical custody may be awarded to the other parent. In that case, a sole custody parenting plan will outline what the non-custodial parent can and cannot do in regards to the children. Visitation may be eliminated or structured under strict supervision.

Many courts are moving away from awarding sole physical custody and toward joint physical custody if both parents agree. Joint physical custody allows children more exposure to both parents. This type of custody works best when parents can communicate effectively, live close to each other and share the same parenting beliefs.

Because there are feelings of hurt and pain associated with divorce, some parents seek sole physical and legal custody in order to limit their children’s exposure to the other parent. Seeking sole custody becomes a weapon used to hurt each other, rather than what is best for the children.

Unless the other parent is unfit, the courts believe that interaction with both parents is beneficial to children. Studies by child psychologists on the effects of divorce have determined that children do better developmentally when they have two supportive parents involved in their lives. Therefore, the courts generally support custody arrangements that allow maximum involvement from both parents.

It’s up to you and the other parent to determine what kind of custody is best for your children. If you are seeking sole legal and physical custody, make sure it is in the best interest of your children, because the court will need to see evidence that your children will benefit from that arrangement.

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Parent/Child Relationships Within A Shared Parenting Plan

The increasing trend toward shared custody means that even more children are benefiting from frequent and meaningful contact with both parents. A shared parenting plan requires you and the other parent to share the responsibilities of parenting as equally as possible and work together toward the best interests of your children.

One concern expressed by many divorcing parents is that shared custody, also known as joint custody, will weaken their relationship with their children, especially if they’ve been the primary caregiver during the marriage. Studies show that children definitely benefit from loving involvement by both parents, so it’s up to you to ensure that your relationship continues to thrive despite limits on your time together.

There are 5 things you can do to keep close to your children when you have a joint custody parenting plan in place:

  1. Communicate—Be honest and clear with your children about how much you love them. Address any fears and concerns that they may have about the divorce and your place in their lives. It will take time and a lot of communication to ease their fears. When the children are with you, engage them in conversations from silly to serious. When they are with the other parent, always keep phone appointments and be engaged in the conversation. Ask pointed questions about their day and always express your love.
  2. Place children’s needs first—Be flexible in providing your children what you can to ensure proper emotional and social development, even if it puts your needs second. Rather than turn disagreements into a battle with the other parent, work on compromises that put the children first. For example, if a child’s dance class has been moved from the other parent’s day to your day, recognize how it benefits your child to remain in dance, even though it may mean less time with you on that day. Your relationship with your children will thrive when they know you are helping them achieve.
  3. Stay physically close—While it is not always possible, try to live as close to the other parent as you can to keep your relationship strong with your children. Physical proximity is important in establishing frequent visitations and smoother transitions. Children are less likely to feel shuffled around when they live in the same area all the time. Physical proximity allows you to be nearby whenever your children need you, whether it’s just to hang out or in a real emergency.
  4. Show genuine interest—Children need the positive guidance and assistance from both parents and keeping them on the right track is part of your job description. It takes more than just lip service about how proud you are. Get involved and help with homework, shoot baskets in the driveway, talk about growing up, change your plans to attend their events and so forth. Showing genuine interest in what your children do signals to them that you care about their dreams and aspirations. The support they feel from you will enhance your relationship.
  5. Declare a truce with the other parent—Even though there may be bad feelings and bruised egos when it comes to the other parent, the way you treat him or her directly affects your relationship with your children. When you show respect for the other’s parenting decisions while avoiding negative comments and criticisms, your children will not feel as if they are forced to choose a side or prove their loyalty to one parent over the other. This allows a deeper relationship to develop with both parents—one built on respect and trust.
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Effective Parenting Plans Help Families Reorganize

Because divorce is an emotionally stressful time, it is hard for most parents to really focus on some of the most important decisions concerning their children. That’s why a parenting plan is so essential.

Transitioning from an intimate relationship to one of co-parenting is much easier with an effective parenting plan in place. Making a parenting plan together allows parents to start the process of relating to each other with their children’s best interests in mind.

Chances of implementing a successful parenting plan increase when it is created by the two adults who know themselves and their children best. As the family moves from one home with two live-in parents to two homes with separated parents, the reorganization can be quite stressful. A parenting plan is an effective tool to help families reorganize.

During this time of family changes, a detailed parenting plan can help separating parents in many areas:

  • It allows parents to articulate their desires and goals for their children
  • It institutes a set schedule that is clear and understandable
  • It establishes communication patterns between parents
  • It reduces day-to-day tension because basic decisions have already been made
  • It becomes the impartial decision-maker for minor disagreements
  • It outlines up regularly scheduled plan assessment meetings between parents
  • It allows parents to focus on parenting once it is established and filed
  • It promises legal ramifications if either parent fails to meet the agreed standards
  • It can possibly reduce legal costs when not prepared by a third party

When parents work together to create a parent plan that truly addresses their children’s needs, the process sets the standard for overcoming complications associated with separation and reorganization. When there is carefully crafted, official parenting plan in place, it gives parents and children the tools they need to move forward.

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Custody Schedule for Teenagers: What Helps Teens Thrive?

When your family is divided, make living arrangements that reduce stress and promote healthy development in your teenager. Creating a custody schedule for school age children is the first step.

With divorce, teenagers are affected differently than younger children and may display a wide range of coping skills. Teenagers fare better when both parents commit to certain behaviors and structure a custody schedule that puts the teen’s best interests ahead of their own.

Teenagers are in the process of developing a separate life from their parents and this increasing independence helps them transition to adulthood. Your teenager still needs both parents to provide guidance and stability as he or she explores and processes the journey towards independence.

A good custody schedule for teenagers will support your child in the process of forming his or her own identity while developing the skills needed to succeed in life. A poor custody schedule stunts that growth by keeping the teen in an unstable, unsupported situation with too many restrictions, which limits his or her development.

Studies show there are several factors affecting adolescent adjustment to divorce:

  • Whether there is a feeling of closeness to the residential parent
  • When there is effective parental monitoring
  • When teenagers and parents integrate joint decision-making on household rules and youth activities
  • Whether there is low parent-child conflict
  • When parents provide encouragement and support, separately and together
  • When there is consistent monitoring of behavior and enforced discipline
  • When the logistics of a custody schedule are smoothly and successfully executed

Your custody schedule should address each of these issues. As parents, you must be involved in your teenager’s school and any outside activities. Allowing your teen to develop external relationships, such as work and friends, also contributes to healthy adolescent development. Keeping things respectful, firm and flexible with the other parent and with your teenager are also key factors in healthy mental and social development.

Your custody schedule for your teen lets you and the other parent to maintain a strong relationship with your child during the ups and downs of adolescence. When you concentrate on the best interest of your teenager and create a custody schedule based around these key elements, you enable your teenager to become the most successful adult he or she can be.

* * *

Maccoby, E., & Mnookin, R. H. (1992). Dividing the child: Social and legal dilemmas of custody. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

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Parental Communication and Shared Custody Schedules for Young Children

A shared custody schedule for young children determines where they will spend each day and how special times like holidays and vacations will be shared. Even though your marriage may have ended, you still need to maintain a cordial relationship with your former spouse that allows you to communicate effectively about your children’s schedule.

Here are a few tips on working with the other parent to create a shared custody schedule for young children:

  • Take a business-like approach with the other parent using language that is cordial and neutral. In a business setting, you would not express much emotion to a client or business associate. Avoid becoming emotional by holding conversations as you would on a professional level.
  • Listen to the other parent’s ideas respectfully. Practicing good listening skills doesn’t mean you automatically have to agree. It simply means you are being respectful and seeking to gain understanding about the other parent’s position on a topic.
  • Avoid demanding things from the other parent. Instead, make requests using language such as “Maybe we can try…” or “Are you willing to try…” This approach to negotiation can be effective between two parents who must compromise while seeking to put their children’s interests first.
  • Keep discussions centered on the children by steering away from any volatile topics. For example, steer the conversation toward your shared custody schedule for your toddler when the other parent begins to unload about a personal issue or complaint. Work hard to center the conversations on the custody schedule and what the children need.
  • Never overreact to something the other parent says. Chances are, your ex knows how to push your buttons and may lash out in frustration, anger or pain. Practice turning the conversation back to the children or simply excuse yourself rather than unload your own feelings. In the long run, it’s better for you, the other parent and the children if your communication is relatively conflict-free.
  • Develop routines for communication and schedule reviews. Because you will be co-parenting with the other parent for many years, it helps to build a system that allows for effective and efficient communication. Whether that means emailing, phone calls or the occasional face to face meeting, establish a method of communication that works best for you.

Peaceful, consistent, and purposeful communication with the other parent is the key to creating a harmonious shared custody schedule and in your ultimate success as co-parents.

Keep your children in mind as you interact with the other parent, knowing that how you interact affects them directly. When you make your children the focal point of the discussions you have with the other parent, there’s a greater chance to come together on their behalf.

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Evolving Shared Custody Schedules for Infants

Child psychologists agree that infants thrive with consistency and routine. Divorced parents may mistakenly feel this means that only one parent should care for the baby all the time while the other parent makes minimal visitations. However, the latest studies in child development show that infants fare better when they can form attachments to both parents.

Past Versus Present. Old-fashioned custody arrangements rigidly required infants to spend the majority of time with their primary caretakers, usually mothers. The non-custodial parents, usually fathers, were limited to visits that lasted only a few hours on the weekends.

These arrangements left little time for parents and children to develop bonds, which affected the relationships as the infants grew.

In the last decade or two, opinions have changed on what infants need from their parents. While loving parents challenged sexist stereotypes about parenting, modern scientific research revealed the importance of both parents in an infant’s life, even in their first few months.

These studies influenced child psychologists and child custody court judges to revise their opinions on healthy development for infants with divorced parents. As a result, today’s shared custody schedules for infants look much different than in previous decades.

Today’s Custody Schedules. Child development specialists discovered that even newborns are able to form lasting, healthy attachments with both parents, even when their mothers and fathers are living in separate homes. These experts now recommend that infants spend lots of time with both mothers and fathers after divorce.

Infants, especially newborns, do need to stay close to their primary caretaking parent, and should not be separated for long. However, both parents should have the opportunity to provide major caregiving tasks throughout the week, such as feeding, diapering, bathing and playing.

A successful, workable shared custody schedule for newborns and infants should include as many short, frequent visits from the secondary caretaker as possible. This can mean a visit of a few hours every day, or at least every other day.

Parents can schedule visits during the infant’s waking time to gain maximum interaction. As the infant matures and becomes comfortable with the secondary caretaker, visitations can be lengthened.

Infants develop healthy emotional attachments when they receive loving care from both parents. When it comes time for divorced parents to create a shared custody schedule, they must keep their baby’s best interests in mind by allowing plenty of quality time with both parents.

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Vacations and Parenting Plans for School Age Children

Vacations are a relaxing time when children can build fond memories with parents, away from the confines of normal life. As you create a parenting plan for school age children, working out vacations can be complicated due to everyone’s hectic schedules.

The frequency and duration of vacations with school age children depends on their age and temperament. Younger school age children may be able to handle one to two uninterrupted weeks of vacation time while a parenting plan for teenagers might specify as many as four weeks. These weeks do not necessarily need to be consecutive.

Here are 10 things to keep in mind when planning vacation time for school age children:

  1. Agree that vacation schedules take precedence over regularly scheduled parenting time
  2. Schedule vacations as early as possible to avoid conflict
  3. Don’t plan vacations that cause children to miss school unless both parents agree
  4. Avoid planning vacations that fall during the other parent’s holiday time
  5. Get permission from the other parent if vacation plans include another state or country
  6. Specify exactly when the vacation time begins and ends
  7. Encourage vacations to visit extended family members, such as cousins or grandparents
  8. Provide contact information for the other parent for the entire vacation time
  9. Allow children to regularly contact the absent parent during the extended separation
  10. Give children a day or two of downtime after the vacation and before school, when possible

As you are working out vacation time in your parenting plan, always keep in mind the children’s age, maturity, ability to handle separations, geographic location of the vacation, relationship with the vacationing parent and duration of the vacation.

You know your school age children best, so put their needs first to ensure a positive vacation experience.

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Parenting Plan for Young Children: Anticipating Big Changes

Your parenting plan for young children covers many aspects about your children’s lives. Most parents focus on the day-to-day issues such as child care, overnights and school attendance. There’s no way to anticipate everything and sometimes parents new to co-parenting fail to address some of the high-impact situations that may arise. Life offers many unforeseen situations that you’ll need to adapt to as co-parents, so create a parenting plan that is open to significant change. Also, plan on regularly reviewing and updating your parenting plan as any of these scenarios change.

Some of the life-changing events that might take place during the decades after your divorce include:
• Remarriage of one or both parents
• Relocation of one parent
• Disability of one parent
• Disability of a child
• Death of one parent
• Death of both parents

You and the other parent must address what would take place in each of these scenarios concerning the care and welfare of your children. For example, plan out what might happen if one parent relocates far away from his or her current location. Visitation would be significantly affected, especially as outlined in your current parenting plan for toddlers or young children who are not able to handle weeks apart from their primary caregiver. Both parents must agree to a workable long-distance visitation that puts the interests of the children first.

In another example, consider how the death of one parent would affect the rights and responsibilities of the deceased parent’s family. Custody and support for the surviving parent would likely be altered as a result of the other parent’s death. Consequently, you may decide that a life insurance policy for both of you is important in providing for your children in the event of a tragedy. You may also want to establish a third party caregiver in the event neither of you are able to care for your children.

Create your parenting plan so that it is workable on a day-to-day and week-to-week basis, but keep it flexible and open to encompass large events. Ultimately, the decisions you make on these big issues must be made in the best interest of your children. Even though your martial relationship has ended, your parenting responsibilities continue. Planning for big changes is the responsible and loving thing to do for your children.

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Parenting Plan for Infants: Time With Each Parent

When you create a parenting plan for your infant, schedule as much time as possible for each parent to develop a relationship with the baby. A successful custody schedule puts the needs of the infant first, rather than the personal preferences of the parents.

An infant’s whole world centers around eating, sleeping and develop trust in his or her caregivers. Infants need predictable schedules with loving contact in a familiar environment in order to thrive. While your infant will develop a strong attachment to his or her primary caregiver, the secondary caretaker is definitely an important part of your infant’s life.

Primary Caregiver. The amount of time your infant spends with his or her primary caregiver reinforces feelings of security, comfort and trust. The primary caregiver should maximize bonding time by providing for your infant’s immediate needs, such as feeding and diapering. Other bonding moments occur during the times your infant is awake and alert. Focus on speaking, singing and cuddling your infant to develop a familiar, comfortable routine.

Secondary Caregiver. While the secondary caregiver will not spend as much time with your infant, that parent will still develop strong attachments with the infant. In fact, as the secondary caregiver makes frequent short visits throughout the week and participates in basic caregiving activities, the infant’s comfort level will increase. Eventually, the infant will feel secure with both parents and visits can be lengthened as the child grows.

Best Infant Schedule. When creating your parenting plan, schedule short, frequent visits with the secondary caretaker. Avoid overnight visits for infants until they are older and better able to handle transitions. Child psychology experts agree that infants should spend no more than eight hours away from the primary caregiver, especially newborns.

Visiting Newborns. Newborns, considered to be infants between 0 and 3 months old, require even more attention than infants. In your parenting plan for your newborn, don’t forget to schedule feeding times every 2 to 3 hours, because newborns eat frequently. Breast feeding your newborn may force both of you to limit visiting times until the child graduates to formula or cereal.

Change Slowly. Keep in mind that infants grow and develop rather quickly, so visiting times with both parents can be adjusted as the child reaches new milestones. When you and the other parent make the effort to show your infant that he or she can rely on both of you for quality care, stability and love, visits can be modified so that you both enjoy maximum time with your child.

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Parenting Plan Template for Babies

Children of different age groups have different needs. As parents make a parenting plan after they divorce or separate, one of the first things to consider is the child’s age. For parents with babies (ages 0-18 months) here is a parenting plan template for babies that specifically addresses the issues and needs of infants.

(A lot of this information has come from Planning for Shared Parenting: A Guide for Parents Living Apart. If you haven’t encountered this brochure online before, I highly recommend it. The brochure goes through each age group and addresses how to make the best plan for the children. It has some very helpful information.)

Before you begin making your parenting plan, you need to assess your family situation. Looking realistically at your situation can help you make a plan that will work best for your child. Infants have unique needs and you have the challenge of figuring out how you and the infant’s other parent will meet those needs. To do that, you need to know where you are coming from. Some important things to consider are:

1. The temperament and age of the child. How well does your baby adapt to new circumstances? What special needs does your baby have? Is your baby breastfeeding?

2. The relationship of the child with siblings or extended family members. Does your baby see grandma and grandpa every day? Do you have older children who are part of the baby’s life?

3. The role of each parent in giving care to the baby. Did each parent share the responsibility of caring for the baby? Did one parent do the majority of the caretaking?

4. The work schedules and lifestyle routines of each parent. Does one parent travel frequently? Do both parents have stable home environments?

5. The distance between the parents’ homes, the homes and the child-care, etc. Is it realistic to have frequent visitation exchanges?

6. How well the parents communicate. Will the mother and father be able to keep a daily log about the developments of the baby?

Once you’ve thought about these issues, you’re ready to move on to the next part of the parenting plan template for infants.

For infants and babies, you need to come up with a parenting time schedule that maintains a basic sleeping, feeding, and waking schedule. If the mother is breastfeeding the baby, this most definitely needs to be taken into account. (Although, if a mother is breastfeeding, that doesn’t mean that the father doesn’t have visits with the child. The parents can agree to use formula along with breastfeeding, or the mother can send milk with the visits when the father has the baby.) So, you need to make a schedule that revolves around the needs of the baby.

Both parents should have frequent contact with the baby. In fact, the baby shouldn’t be away from either parent for more than a few days. This will help the infant develop a strong relationship with both parents. A parenting plan for babies should include several weekly visits with the parent who doesn’t have custody. These visits should be long enough for the parent to give care to the child–ie, the parent should have opportunities to feed the baby, put the baby down for a nap, change the baby’s diaper, play with the baby, etc. If one parent was not very involved in giving care to the child before the separation, the visits should start shorter and then increase as the parent feels more comfortable performing the tasks. If both parents were involved in caring for the child, the baby can spend overnight visits with both parents (this should also happen when the other parent has had time to give care to the child).

Infants and babies develop substantially between the ages of 0 and 18 months. Because of this, it is vital that the parents share information about the development of the baby. The parents should keep a daily log about what goes on with the child. This log should include information about eating (including the introduction of new foods), sleeping habits, new skills the baby learns (rolling over, new words, walking, etc). This way the mother and father both know what is going on.

In addition to the parenting time schedule, a parenting plan for infants can include provisions and stipulations that apply directly to the needs of the baby. The parents should decide how they will make legal decisions for the infant. This includes making decisions about medical care–including immunizations and other preventative medicine–and other important decisions. The parents can decide to share this responsibility, or one parent can be given the responsibility. If the parents share the duty (which most states prefer) the parents should come up with a process for how they will make the decisions.

Parents can also think ahead to avoid problems. The mother and father should come up with a provision for resolving disputes and making changes to the schedule. If the parents use child-care, they should decide on the child-care together. It is also important to talk about exchanges and how the parents will handle transportation for visits. For babies, parents must also discuss the necessary equipment that both households will have, and what equipment goes back and forth between the houses.

By following this parenting plan template, hopefully parents can make a good plan for their infants and babies. In the next few posts, we’ll discuss how to make plans for children of other ages.

Categories: parenting plan template

Making a Visitation Calendar

One of the easiest ways to compile your custody and visitation information is to put everything on a calendar. You can then keep your visitation calendar readily available so you always know the right pick-up and drop-off times, can see what is going on with holidays, and can see when there are problems with the schedule. Here’s an example of making a visitation calendar.

1. Decide what type of calendar to use. If you are making a visitation calendar, you should choose a format that works for your life. Some people find that just a regular 12 month calendar where you write in all of the information works great. Other people find that it is easier to use software to make the calendar. If you use software, you should find one that will let you create your schedule and then sync it to your online calendar, email calendar, or phone (Custody X Change allows you to do this).

2. Enter in your repeating cycle. The repeating cycle of custody and visitation is the foundation for your schedule. This is the first thing you put into the calendar. Clearly mark the time that the child is with each parent–it is often easier to use a different color for each parent.

3. Write in the holiday time. Go through each holiday and mark the holiday time.

4. Include any special events where the regular visitation calendar changes. Then you should have a nice looking calendar that clearly shows where your child is at all times.

Categories: Visitation Calendar

Visitation Schedules that Work–Including 3rd Party Time

The child custody software Custody X Change has just released a new feature that allows parents to include 3rd party time in their visitation schedules. Many parents make their visitation schedule so that it only shows the time that the child has with mom and dad. However, with the business of the modern world, it is unlikely that the child is only spending time with the parents. Many children spend time in day care, at school, with other relatives, etc. Including the 3rd party time can help you make a visitation schedule that works.

Now, it’s important to find out the specific laws in your state about the visitation schedule. Many states will only accept schedules that show the time each parent has, and they want the timeshare percentage that each parent has. Of course you can still make a schedule that shows the 3rd party time for your own planning purposes, but be aware that the court may not accept the timeshare percentage for the 3rd party (this means that the child support usually won’t be influenced by 3rd party time).

For practical purposes, it makes sense for parents to have a copy of a calendar that shows where their child is at all times. This is why you may want to make a schedule that shows when the child is with someone other than the parents. This can help you figure out transportation to school, day care, etc. because you have the times all laid out before you and you can see what parent has the child in between the 3rd party time. It can also help you decide about making changes to the schedule and figuring out the best times for visitation. Planning for these details are what makes visitation schedules that work.

Categories: Child Visitation Schedule

Choosing a Sole or Joint Child Custody Agreement

Is a sole or joint custody agreement the best one for your child and your custody situation? To help you decide, this post looks at the main differences between a sole and joint agreement so that you can see what type of arrangement better suits your needs.

Sole Child Custody Agreements

There are two types of custody, physical and legal, so a sole custody agreement can mean a couple of different things. Physical custody refers to the actual time that each parent has with the children. Legal custody refers to the authority that parents have to make decisions and have responsibility over the children. If one parent has sole physical custody then the child lives primarily with that parent and has visitation with the other parent. If a parent is given sole legal custody over the child, it means that the parent has the right to make all legal decisions for the child. This includes making decisions about education, medical care, religion, etc.

When people use the phrase sole custody agreement, they generally mean a situation where one parent has sole physical custody (so, the child lives with that parent). Sometimes a parent is give sole legal custody, but that doesn’t happen as frequently. When a parent has sole physical custody, the custody agreement will have a sole custody schedule. With this type of schedule, the child spends the majority of time with one parent (usually called the custodial parent) and has visits to the other parent (the non-custodial parent). Some common sole custody schedules include: visitation to the non-custodial parent every weekend, visits every other weekend, weekday visits in addition to weekend visits, etc.

Generally, the non-custodial parent will pay child support to the custodial parent. This is to balance the financial obligation between the two parents. Since one parent is physically taking care of the child more, the other parent must contribute by providing money.

Parents with sole custody agreements need to work out the issues with visitation. They need to decide how to handle transportation for the visits, how to make changes to the visitation schedule, if they want the right of first refusal, etc. The right of first refusal occurs when a parent is not able to care for the child during their appointed time. Instead of finding other child care, the parent must offer the time to the other parent first.

Some states have a preference for a joint custody agreement, so in these states a parent who wants a sole agreement must be prepared to show why it is better for the child.

Joint Child Custody Agreements

When the parents share physical and legal custody they have a joint custody agreement. This means that each parent has the child living with them for a significant amount of time (although, not necessarily exactly half of the time). With a joint agreement, the mother and father are both very involved in raising the child.

One parent may still pay child support in a joint arrangement. The parents also agree to share the other expenses that come up with the child. A joint agreeement should specify how the parents will handle the finances of raising the child. Parents can also add provisions that can help the plan work more smoothly. They may need to have provisions about resolving disputes, making changes to the plan, handling transportation for exchanges, etc.

Some states have a preference for joint custody. If this is the case, the court will look more favorably on a joint custody agreement.

Categories: Custody Agreements

A Model Parenting Plan Template

As you begin to make your parenting plan, or as you look to modify or make changes to your existing parenting plan, it can be informative to look at examples of other plans. Looking at a model parenting plan can remind you of important elements to include in your plan, and it can give you ideas of how to create your plan so that it fits the needs of your child. Here is each part of the parenting plan, along with an explanation of what that part should include. All of these added together make a great model parenting plan template.

The Parenting Time Schedule

A big part of any parenting plan is the parenting time schedule. This schedule shows the time that the child spends living with each parent. Important parts of the schedule include the daily schedule of where the child lives, a schedule for vacations or school breaks, and a holiday schedule. Along with the actual calendar that shows the time each parent has with the children, you need to think about provisions to help the schedule work. You need to make arrangements for the child’s transportation between the parents’ homes. You should also have a process for how you make one time changes to the schedule, how you plan to accommodate your child’s extra-curricular activities, and if you will have the right of first refusal (this means that if one parent is unable to take the child for their parenting time, they must give the other parent the first option to take the child instead of finding other child care).

Information About Legal Custody

Once parents separate, they need to figure out how they will make important legal decisions for their child. The responsibility and right that parents have to decide things for their child is called legal custody. These decisions include where the child goes to school, what medical care the child receives, the religious affiliation of the child, etc. You need to decide if you and the other parent will both contribute to these decisions (joint legal custody) or if one parent will have the authority to make all of the decisions (sole legal custody). If you have joint legal custody, you need to come up with a plan for how you will make the decisions. Will both parents discuss every major decision? With each parent have specific areas they make decisions for? Will the parents make the decisions when the child is in their custody? You should also think of a plan for how you will handle disagreements about decisions.

Medical and Dental Care for the Child

An effective parenting plan will include information about how the child will receive necessary medical and dental care. This means that the parents should have information about the child’s insurance, and which parent provides the insurance.

Other Provisions and Stipulations

You should also think about the unique needs of your child and to come up with additional provisions and stipulations that will enhance your plan and make it run more smoothly. Some provisions to think about include:

  • Information about traveling with the child.
  • Education and schooling for the child.
  • How the parents will communicate about important issues.
  • How the parents will resolve disputes.
  • Safety requirements for the child.

By following this basic parenting plan template, you can come up with a plan for your child. You can build on top of this plan so that you have a thorough document for your custody situation.

Categories: Parenting Plans

Common Custody and Visitation Arrangements

If you have just started the process of making a custody and visitation schedule, you may be wondering about different custody arrangements that work for various situations. Knowing some common visitation arrangements can help you decide what to do for your child and your situation. To give you some ideas, this post will look at common arrangements that people use for different parts of the custody and visitation schedule. Hopefully this can give you a starting point and you can adapt your schedule and arrangements to fit your child.

The Repeating Cycle

The repeating cycle is the first building block of your custody schedule. The repeating cycle you choose to use depends very much on whether you have joint or sole custody. Common sole custody arrangements include: visitation with the non-custodial parent every weekend, visitation with the non-custodial parent every other weekend, visitation with the non-custodial parent a few times during the week and on various weekends, etc. Common joint custody arrangements include: alternating custody every other week, alternating custody every two weeks, a 2-2-5-5 schedule, a 3-3-4-4 schedule, etc.

Vacations and School Breaks

A very common custody arrangement when your children are in school is to set up separate schedules for the school year and the summer break. Often, parents find that it is easier to have the child live primarily with one parent during the school year, so they give more time to the other parent during school breaks. Parents also usually include time for the mother and father to take the child on vacation during the year.

Holidays

A very important part of figuring out visitation arrangements is coming up with a plan for holidays. Most parents include a separate holiday schedule in their custody agreement that takes priority over the repeating cycle of custody. You can divide holiday time in a few different ways. Some parents like to give the entire holiday to one parent and then alternate the holidays. Other parents like to split the actually holiday in half and give both parents some of the day. You can also use a combination of these.

As you take some of these suggestions and look at your own schedule, you can adapt them to meet your needs. Custody X Change is a great program to use as you come up with your child custody arrangements because you get a clear visual of how the time is being divided, and you can also see the exact time-share percentage that each parent has with the children. This can help you make the best schedule for your child and for the parents.

Categories: Custody Arrangements
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