Child Custody & Visitation Blog

As a divorced or separated parent, you want to make the best shared custody schedule for your child. You’re willing to put in the time and effort that it takes to make a good schedule, and you are willing to be the needs of your child first. So, what is the best schedule? Well, there really isn’t one right answer for everybody. The best shared custody schedule for your child depends very much on your situation and circumstances. You are the best judge of what schedule is right for your child, but here are some suggestions that you can follow that should help lead you to the schedule you want.

1. To begin the process of making your schedule, get a blank calendar. You can print one off of the computer, use Custody X Change, or get a regular calendar from the store (or use an old one).

2. You want to first come up with a repeating cycle of custody and visitation. As you begin to mark off the time, consider the following questions.

• What are the schedules of the parents and how can they arrange visitation/custody exchanges?
• What is the schedule of the child–is the child in school, have extra activities, in day care, etc?
• How close do you and the other parent live? Will transportation be easy to figure out or difficult?
• How easily does the child adjust to the parents’ homes? Is visitation possible at each parents’ house?
• What are the easiest transition times for the child to exchange for visitation?

3. You’ll first want to come up with the residence of the child. Some shared child custody schedules have the child live in both homes. However, a shared schedule doesn’t have to do this. The child can still have a primary home with frequent visitation to the other home.

4. Schedule out the visitation/custody that the parents will share. It is best if you can do this with the other parent.

5. If the child spends more time with one parent because of school, consider changing the schedule to favor the other parent during breaks and vacations.

6. Make a holiday schedule that is fair for each parent.

7. Decide the time that each parent is allowed to take the child on vacation.

8. Put in any special events in the schedule, and decide how you will make changes to the schedule as they are needed.

To get started making your parenting plan, you should first look at some common parenting plan templates. Here are some types of common templates that can give you a foundation for making the rest of your plan.

1. A joint legal and physical custody template. This is a type of shared parenting plan. With a joint legal and physical custody plan, both parents have the children live with them for significant periods of time (these exact arrangements are based on the needs of the children and not on giving the parents equal time) and both parents make decisions for and are involved with the children. To make this kind of plan, it works best if the mother and father can sit down together and agree on the plan.

2. A joint legal and sole physical custody template. In this plan, the parents share the responsibility of making decisions for the children (legal custody) but the child lives primarily with one parent and visits the other parent. This type of plan works if one parent is the primary caretaker of the children but the other parent still wants access to records and wants to be involved with the children.

3. A sole legal and physical custody template. With this arrangement, one parent has all legal responsibility for the children and makes all of the decisions for them. The parents also live with this parent and visit the other parent. This template is not a very good one if both parents are involved in the child’s life. In cases of domestic violence and crime, this is the template the parents usually follow.

A common custody provision that parents include in their parenting plan and custody agreement is the right of first refusal. By including the right of first refusal in your parenting plan, you guarantee that anytime the other parent needs someone to watch the children, they must ask you first. Let’s explore this a little bit more.

Parents who include right of first refusal basically want the opportunity to watch the children when the other parent has them. This means that instead of calling a babysitter when a parent wants to go out, the parent calls the other parent first and gives them the right to first refuse the children. So, let’s say that the mother of two little boys decides to go on a three day vacation during the week when she has custody. Instead of calling her parents to watch the children, she must first call the boys’ father and give him the right to have the three days with the children. If he refuses, then she can find someone else to watch them.

You can set the time for when the parents have the right of first refusal. Some parents have the provision that anytime a parent is going to call someone to watch the children (even if it is just for an hour) they have to first call the other parent. This can be kind of difficult, and so many parents set the time from between 5-8 hours. So, if a parent is going to be away from the child for more than 5 hours (or whatever the exact hour you choose) they have to call the other parent to watch the children.

The right of first refusal custody provision can really enhance your agreement. It can also get you some extra time with the children, and you can be confident that the other parent isn’t dropping the children off with other people for extended periods of time. Custody X Change includes this and many other custody agreement provisions for parents to include in their plan.

Note: if the other parent fails to comply with the right of first refusal, the parent has violated the custody agreement or parenting plan. You can file a complaint with the court to show that the other parent is in contempt of the custody order. You may have to go to court and show evidence that the right of first refusal was denied. If possible, you can discuss the situation with the other parent first to come up with a solution.

Are you looking for a child visitation schedule template? Here is a basic one to get you started.

The Repeating Cycle of Custody and Visitation

• Get a blank calendar that has 2-4 weeks.
• Fill out the basic cycle of custody and visitation.
• When you have the basic cycle, count the number of weeks.
• Repeat the weeks of the cycle throughout the calendar year.

A Holiday Schedule

• Make a list of the holidays you want to include.
• Decide how you will share the holidays–by splitting the time or alternating the holidays.
• Assign the holiday time to each parent.
• Pick a method for how you will figure out holidays each year (alternating the schedule every year, making a new one, etc)

Vacation Time

• Decide if you want a different schedule of custody and visitation during the child’s vacations and breaks from school.
• Make a different schedule for vacation time if you want.
• Decide how many days each parent has to take the children on vacation each year.
• Assign the dates of the vacation, or allow parents to have unspecified vacations (this means that parents can have so many days with the children for vacation and they can pick the dates later).

Special Events

• Look at the calendar to see if your child has any special events that will change the custody schedule (like sporting events, concerts, etc.)
• Reassign the custody as necessary.

Custody X Change is custody software that provides the best visitation schedule template available. With the software, parents can make all of these parts of the visitation schedule, see the exact timeshare percentage that each parent has with the children while setting up the schedule, and explore many different options for the schedule. You can download a free trial of the software and make your visitation schedule today.

Do you want a custody schedule that gives each parent equal time with the children? Here are some 50/50 child custody schedule examples to consider.

Alternating Weeks

In this schedule, the parents simply alternate weeks of custody with the child. Of course, the parents can choose what day to exchange–this picture shows an exchange on Friday evening. This type of schedule works best if parents live close to each other and close to the child’s school or other activities. The advantage is that the child has a very stable schedule with few exchanges during the week. However, the child has to adjust weekly to a new living situation, and not all children are able to do this.

Variations: parents can add mid-week evening or overnight visits to the other parent if a week feels like too long of a stretch to not see the child. Parents can also choose to alternate custody every two weeks if that works better for them.

Splitting the Week in Half

In this schedule, the parents split the week in half and each parent has the child for half of the week. The parents can adjust the days and times to get the schedule they want. Again, with this schedule the parents both need to live close to the child’s school or other activities (if the child is old enough to go to school).

Variations: Parents can add an evening or afternoon visit to the other parent during any of the days.

2/2/5/5 Split Custody Schedule

This schedule gives one parent 2 days with the children and then the other parent 2 days with the children. Then, each parent has 5 days with the children. This is a lot of switching back and forth for the child–so it is helpful if the parents live close to each other and the child adapts well to each home.

Parents can adjust the days and times of exchanges so that they alternate weekends. They can also add afternoon or evening visits as they feel they are necessary.

3/3/4/4 Split Custody Schedule

This schedule is like the one above, except that the parents each have 3 days and then they each have 4. Some parents find great success with switching so often, and other parents find that it is too complicated for their children. You should base your custody schedule on what works best for your child.

Again, parents can switch the exchange days so that they have different days with the children–this schedule can be arranged so the parents alternate weekends.

Other Variations

The great thing about using Custody X Change (where all of the previous pictures are from) is that it is really easy to set up 50/50 child custody schedules. With the program, you can set up different custody and visitation schedules and see the exact timeshare percentage that each parent has with the children. This means you can add visitation and change the custody times so each parent really has fifty percent of the time with the children. You can also adjust holiday time and add vacation schedules to equal out the time. If you want to make a 50/50 schedule, you should download the software.

When parents divorce there are a lot of decisions that need to be made quickly. Many times parents must make plans for their children during a whirlwind of activity, and they may not have enough time to really think through all of the issues and decide what is best for the children. Fortunately, parents don’t need to rush into a permanent custody agreement. They can make a temporary child custody agreement to get things started.

A temporary custody agreement is exactly what is sounds like–temporary custody arrangements for the children. A mother and father make arrangements for the children until they come up with a permanent solution. A temporary custody agreement doesn’t need to be as detailed as a permanent agreement, but it should contain a temporary custody and visitation schedule and temporary custody provisions that parents want to implement. Parents usually make a temporary custody agreement when they are not sure the best place for the child to live and they want to test some initial arrangements, when they need an agreement quickly and don’t have time to make a permanent one, when there is a lot of change going on and they are waiting for things to settle before making a final agreement, etc.

The process for making a temporary agreement is quite similar to making the final one. Ideally, a mother and father can work together to come up with the arrangements for how they will share custody of the children. They write up a plan for how they will share time with the children and handle other responsibilities (they should pay particular attention to handling finances during this time). The parents can go to court and have the temporary custody agreement approved by a judge (the judge will put a date when the temporary agreement ends and a permanent one should be submitted) or they can both just agree to it. If the mother and father do not agree on custody, they can go to court and have the judge determine the temporary agreement.

If a parent is worried about the other parent’s behavior concerning the children (for example, if a parent is worried the other parent will kidnap the children and leave) then they should immediately go to court and explain the emergency situation. The judge will grant a temporary custody agreement to ensure that they can do something if the other parent leaves with the children.

Creating a successful parenting plan is the goal of any parent who is in the process of making a plan. The difference between a mediocre plan and one that really fits the needs of the children is in the extra provisions and plans that the parents include. Here are some of the issues to discuss and include in your plan to make it truly successful.

Transportation for Visits

To really make a good plan, you must figure out how you and the other parent will handle transporting the children to and from visitation. There are many solutions to this, and you need to figure out what works best for your situation. You need to decide how the child will get to and from visits, and how you and the other parent will share the expense of transporting the child. Some possible ideas include: both parents meeting halfway for exchanges, each parent dropping the child off at the other parent’s house before and after visits, one parent driving and the other paying for gas and cost, etc. This can get even more complicated if one parent lives out of state.

Communicating About the Child

You and the other parent need to develop a system so you can share information about the child. This simply has to be done if both parents are to be on the same page. You should never have the child deliver messages to the parents–the parents should speak directly to each other. Parents can set up a weekly meeting, call each other, email, send letters, etc. It is best to work out an easy system for both parents and put it right in the plan.

Special Events

Every child has special events that come in school or otherwise. You and the other parent need to figure out how you will handle these. Will both parents attend back to school night? What about the family picnic for the baseball team? Parents can choose to divide up the activities, or set up a way to decide which parent will go as the activities come up.

Scheduling Other Contact

You need to make some guidelines about each parent contacting the children. In general, it is best if the children have frequent contact with both parents. This means that when the child goes for a visit, the other parent can call at bedtime to say goodnight. Or, the parent who doesn’t live with the children can call regularly and send emails. It is helpful for both parents to talk about this issue so they both know what to expect and so neither parent feels like the other parent is intruding.

These are just some of the guidelines for an successful parenting plan template. You can also think about any areas that have caused trouble or conflict in the past and think of a way to resolve the problem in the plan. This should help your plan work out best for your child.

Setting up the holiday custody and visitation schedule is a very important part of your parenting time schedule. Children have a lot of memories and expectations that go along with holidays, and when parents separate or divorce the children can have great anxiety that their holidays will no longer be any fun. You need to make a schedule and be prepared to discuss it with your children. You should explain to them how the holiday schedule will work and reassure the children that holidays will still be special family time, but the child will celebrate the holiday differently than before. Here are some ideas for preparing your holiday schedule.

You actually have some options when it comes to holidays. First, you and the other parent need to decide how you will share holiday time. You can choose to divide the day of the holiday between both parents, you can alternate important holidays, you can do a combination of both methods, and you can give both parents separate days to celebrate the same holiday. Here are some example holiday custody schedules.

Let’s say you and the other parent want to split the holiday time on the actually holiday. First, you want to make a list of all of the holidays that you want to share. Common shared holidays include Easter, July 4th, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Then you decide which parent has the child for the first half of the day and which parent has the child the second half of the day. You should also determine how the transportation will work on the holiday.

A slight variation of sharing the holiday is to give both parents a time to celebrate the holiday. For example, one parent can have the child on Christmas Eve, and the other parent has the child on Christmas day. One parent has the child on Thanksgiving day, and the other parent has them for the weekend following Thanksgiving. This can be a nice arrangement for the child because the child has time to settle in and actually enjoy the holiday.

Another holiday visitation schedule option is for you and the other parent to alternate the major holidays. In this case, you should make a list of all of the holidays you want to celebrate. The list can be extensive and include all holidays, or as few holidays as the you want. You and the other parent then go through and divide the holidays. You can agree to swap holidays every year so that they end up with a fair schedule. You can also choose a different method of alternating holidays–some parents create a new holiday schedule every year.

Remember that the holiday schedule should be made according to what is best for the child. Because of this, you may find that a combination of the above methods works best. Some of the holidays can be shared, and other holidays can be alternated. Determine what is best for your child and celebrate the holidays accordingly.

Custody X Change makes it easy to set up a holiday custody schedule. There is a Canadian, Australian, and US version of the software so you can set up a Canadian holiday custody schedule, Australian holiday custody schedule, or US holiday custody schedule. You can download a free trial of the software to see how it can help you assign holiday time.