Child Custody & Visitation Blog

Before making your custody agreement, it is helpful to know the types of child custody agreements that are possible. Here is a brief overview of the types of agreements you can have.

1. Sole legal custody with sole physical custody. Legal custody refers to the right and responsibility that parents have to make decisions for the child and physical custody refers to the actual physical time that parents have the children in their care. So, in a sole legal custody and sole physical custody agreement one parent has the sole responsibility to make decisions for the child, and the child resides primarily with that parent. The other parent will have visitation with the child.

2. Joint legal custody with sole physical custody. In this arrangement, the parents share and divide the responsibility to make decisions for the children. The parents can each be responsible for different types of decisions, or the parents can both have an input into every decision. The child lives primarily with one parent and visits the other parent.

3. Joint legal custody and joint physical custody. With a joint custody agreement, the parents agree to share everything about raising the child. They both have a say in legal decisions, and they also have a joint custody schedule. A joint custody schedule doesn’t mean that each parent gets exactly half of the time with the children. Instead, it means that the child spends significant time with both parents.

Custody X Change is custody software that can help parents make any of these types of agreements. With the software, a mother and father can make a complete custody and visitation schedule and then include provisions about legal custody and other issues. Thus they can have a personalized agreement for their situation.

Another great custody resource is the book Custody Chaos, Personal Peace by Jeffrey P. Wittmann. In this book, Wittmann explains how parents can have personal peace of mind concerning the custody situation, even when there are problems with the other parent. He has a lot of really good advice for helping parents handle difficult situations by being both assertive and respectful. It really is a great book.

Something I really think is applicable in the book is how to act when the other parent gets angry. This applies when you negotiate your custody agreement, when you want to modify the custody schedule after it’s in place, when you need to discuss problems with the other parent, etc. Here are some highlights of what Wittmann suggests for dealing with the anger of the other parent.

Wittmann states that there are three “strategic responses” to an attack from the other parent: “calming yourself, attempting to disarm your attacker and render him or her at least neutral, and countering the attack.” For each strategy, he has some tactics that can help.

1. Stay Calm

This can be extremely difficult. It is a natural response to become defensive when someone attacks us. However, Wittmann points out that responding defensively or angry to the other parent’s anger will only make the situation work. Here are some ideas he suggests for staying calm when the other parent becomes angry.

• A pause of silence. Before you say something–wait. Have a few seconds, or even a minute or two of silence. Take this time to relax and take some deep breaths so that you can respond well to the anger. Wittmann says, “carefully placed silence can, almost literally, disarm your ex. To make it especially effective, follow the silence with a question: ‘Why don’t you tell me what you would suggest? I’ll just sit and listen for a bit’.”
• See through the anger. Try to see the emotions that have fueled the anger–usually these are tender feelings.  Wittmann says, “The goal here is to focus less on your ex’s anger or resistance and more on the essential feelings behind the curtain. This will allow you to respond with clarity, compassion, and if necessary, firm resolve.”
• Take a time out. If the other parent gets anger, call a time out. Explain that things are too heated for you and you’d like to come back to the issue. During the time out take deep breaths to relax and remove yourself emotionally from the situation.

2. Disarm Your Ex

• Ask a Question. Find out why your ex is angry. From Wittmann: “When in doubt, ask. It’s a good strategy for just about anything in life, and it’s a great way to respond to resistance on your ex’s part.” You can simply ask questions like, “I didn’t know this would bother you, what doesn’t work for you?”
• Concede a point. If the other parent has valid reasons why something will not work, admit that you were wrong.
• Stay focused. “Your focus, remember, is not to win an argument or to blast your ex but to reach an agreement. Stay on that focus. Your original solution is proving unworkable? Drop it.”
• Suggest an experiment. Instead of wanting to suddenly make permanent changes, ask the other parent to think about experimenting with the change to see how it goes.

3. Make a Bold Move

• Name the game. If the other parent is acting in a dysfunctional way, call them out on in (in a respectful way).
• Repeat yourself. Many times the other parent will not admit that you are right. So, “first express some understanding for his/her feelings, and then repeat clearly and firmly what it is you want from him/her.”
• Offer a choice. “In offering a choice to your ex, you are simply making a statement about what the other person’s options are and about how you intend to behave in your own life.”

Of course, the book is much more thorough than this outline. I really recommend this book to any parent who has any challenges with the custody situation.

Philip M. Stahl has an excellent book called Parenting After Divorce: A Guide to Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children’s  Needs. In this book, he has a section about parenting plans for parents with high conflict situations. As he talks about what is needed in the plan, he says: “You might find that more detail is needed than you think so that there is less conflict in the future. If you create a careful and well-thought-out parenting plan, you can save considerable aggravation later.” He than recommends the following parenting plan template for parents in high conflict.

1. A clear and well defined schedule. Along with a schedule that shows when each parent has the children, Stahl recommends that parents specify how exchanges will be made for visits, a procedure for a one-time change to the schedule, who has the ultimate power to decide when the parents disagree, etc.

2. Information about making decisions for the children. The parenting plan should state if the parent who has physical custody has the right to make daily decisions and how the parents will make big decisions together.

3. Information about financial responsibilities. The parents needs to decide how they will pay for things that aren’t covered by child support.

4. A process for how the parents will manage disputes. Parents can use mediation, arbitration, or another method to resolve disputes without going to court.

5. Provisions about: who will provide care when the parent isn’t available during custody time (the right of first refusal gives the other parent priority), how the parents will handle transportation during exchanges, how the parents will review and make changes to the plan, how the parents will handle additional responsibilities of parenting (like if the child gets sick, going to school meetings, etc), how the parents will manage the child’s religious education, and how the parents will share information with each other.

It makes a lot of sense if parents have a lot of conflict to make a really detailed parenting plan. The nice thing about the custody software Custody X Change, is that it lets parents add all of these parts to the plan. It also helps parents in high conflict because they can use the computer to make the process more objective–they can look at the screen and explore different options for parenting time, they can use the timeshare calculator to know exactly what’s going on, they can easily make sample and example plans, they can easily make changes as needed, etc. If you are in a high conflict custody situation, Stahl’s book can be a good reference. Custody X Change can also help you get a good, detailed parenting plan that can make the situation better.

What kind of parenting plan is the best one for your child and you? To help you decide, this post looks at the difference between a sole and a joint parenting plan.

A Sole Custody Parenting Plan

A sole custody parenting plan can mean a few different things because there are two types of custody: physical and legal. Physical custody refers to the parenting time that each parent has the children, and legal custody refers to the parental responsibility that each parent has for the children. For example, physical custody covers how the parents will share custody and visitation and legal custody covers how the mother and father will make decisions for the child. If one parent has sole physical custody of the child it means that the child lives primarily with that parent and visits the other parent. If a parent has sole legal custody, it means that parent has the authority to make all decisions for the child.

A sole parenting plan is usually referring to a situation where a parent has sole physical custody. The parent may also have sole legal custody, but that is a more unusual situation. This type of plan will have a sole custody parenting time schedule where the child lives with one parent (usually called the custodial parent) and visits the other parent (the non-custodial parent). A typical sole custody schedule is the weekend schedule–where one parent has the children during the week and the other parent has visitation on the weekends. The visitation can be every weekend, every other weekend, the 1st and 3rd weekends, the 2nd and 4th weekend, etc. The parents can also schedule a visit during the week if they want.

Generally, the non-custodial parent will pay child support to the custodial parent. This is because the custodial parent has a lot more financial obligation to the child because the child is living with that parent. A sole parenting plan can also have a provision about how the parents will pay for extra expenses for the child. They may also want to come up with a way to track expenses.

Parents can also add other provisions in the sole agreement to help the situation work better. Some common provisions include a process for how parents will resolve disputes, how the parents will handle transportation for the visits, how changes can be made to the visitation schedule, etc.

Some states have a preference for a joint parenting plan, so in these states a parent who wants a sole parenting plan must be prepared to show why a sole plan is better for the child.

A Joint Parenting Plan

A joint custody parenting plan is when the parents share physical and legal custody. It doesn’t necessarily mean that each parent has the children exactly half of the time. Instead, it means that the parenting time schedule gives both parents significant time with the children. In a joint plan, both parents are involved with raising the children.

One parent may still pay child support in a joint arrangement. The parents also agree to share the other expenses that come up with the child. A joint plan should specify how the parents will handle the finances of raising the child. Parents can also add provisions that can help the plan work more smoothly. They may need to have provisions about resolving disputes, making changes to the plan, handling transportation for exchanges, etc.

Some states have a preference for joint custody. If this is the case, the court will look more favorably on a joint parenting plan.

Most of the time it is in the child’s best interest to have both parents involved in his/her life. But, what happens when one parent isn’t good for the child, or is even dangerous? A common solution for working out visitation when one parent isn’t a fit parent is to have supervised visitation.

What is supervised visitation?

Supervised visitation is when a parent is allowed to have visitation with the child only when a third person is present. This third person has to be approved by the judge, and is there to make sure that nothing dangerous happens during the visit.

Who has supervised visitation?

When a parent has a history that shows they have done things that are harmful to the children, the court can order that visitation be supervised. Some common reasons why a person would have supervised visitation include: a history or domestic abuse or violence towards the children, a history of drug abuse, a criminal history, a history of self-inflicted violence, or being absent from the child’s life for a long period of time. Basically, if the court has concerns that a parent may hurt or harm the child, the court will order supervised visitation. In the case of an absent parent, the court may order supervised visitation until the child is used to the parent.

How does supervised visitation work?

In a situation where a parent has supervised visitation, the court will approve the third person who must monitor the visits. The parents can then work out child visitation arrangements. Usually, supervised visitation isn’t more than a few hours. In some situations, the supervised visit happens where the third person is–at a center or neutral meeting place. Occasionally the visit can happen at the parent’s home, but that must be approved by the court. Depending on the court order, a parent may start with supervised visitation but he/she can can take steps to prove that they can have normal visitation.

If you feel like your child’s other parent is dangerous or harmful, you can request the court to order supervised visitation. This is necessary if there has been a history of abuse or violence in your family, or if you are worried about the other parent’s actions.

What is a reasonable visitation schedule? Well, it depends on the situation. A lot of states have laws that it is in the best interest of the child to have reasonable contact with both parents. So, the courts will only accept a reasonable visitation schedule, or one that gives enough time to both parents.

Now, the standard is rather vague. The best way to really make the visitation schedule reasonable is for both parents to sit down and come up with a schedule that they think is in the best interest of the child. Instead of focusing on the amount of time that each parent has with the children, the parents should focus on how both parents can help participate in raising the child. Here are some things that parents can think about that will help them create the best visitation schedule possible.

• How old is the child? Parents should look at the ages of the children and adapt the schedule accordingly. Children of different ages have different needs from the parents, and the visitation schedule needs to be created so the children have opportunities to connect with both parents.

• What really benefits the child? Unfortunately, child custody issues come with divorce, and divorce causes a lot of problems and issues between the parents. Too many parents use the visitation schedule as revenge on the other parent–but it really harms the children. Separate the divorce issues from the custody questions.

• Will a visitation timeshare calculator help? A timeshare calculator shows the exact time that each parent has with the children. This can be helpful when creating the visitation schedule, because the parents know exactly how much time they have with the children. Custody X Change offers a calculator that shows parents the timeshare percentage as they create a schedule.

• How practical is the schedule? Parents must consider the practical issues when making the schedule. How close do the parents live by each other? Is it possible to do frequent exchanges? Do they both live by the child’s school? What is the work schedule of each parent? Does one parent travel frequently? How well does the child adjust to each parents’ home? Thinking about how the schedule will actually work in real life will help make it more reasonable.

• Does child have special needs? The visitation schedule needs to be made to accommodate those. The special needs could include any health problems, learning disabilities that require after-school attention, etc.

• What activities does the child participate in? Extra-curricular activities can interrupt the visitation schedule, and parents need to make plans for this. The mother and father can plan visitation around extra activities, or have plans for make-up visitation.

As a divorced or separated parent, you want to make the best shared custody schedule for your child. You’re willing to put in the time and effort that it takes to make a good schedule, and you are willing to be the needs of your child first. So, what is the best schedule? Well, there really isn’t one right answer for everybody. The best shared custody schedule for your child depends very much on your situation and circumstances. You are the best judge of what schedule is right for your child, but here are some suggestions that you can follow that should help lead you to the schedule you want.

1. To begin the process of making your schedule, get a blank calendar. You can print one off of the computer, use Custody X Change, or get a regular calendar from the store (or use an old one).

2. You want to first come up with a repeating cycle of custody and visitation. As you begin to mark off the time, consider the following questions.

• What are the schedules of the parents and how can they arrange visitation/custody exchanges?
• What is the schedule of the child–is the child in school, have extra activities, in day care, etc?
• How close do you and the other parent live? Will transportation be easy to figure out or difficult?
• How easily does the child adjust to the parents’ homes? Is visitation possible at each parents’ house?
• What are the easiest transition times for the child to exchange for visitation?

3. You’ll first want to come up with the residence of the child. Some shared child custody schedules have the child live in both homes. However, a shared schedule doesn’t have to do this. The child can still have a primary home with frequent visitation to the other home.

4. Schedule out the visitation/custody that the parents will share. It is best if you can do this with the other parent.

5. If the child spends more time with one parent because of school, consider changing the schedule to favor the other parent during breaks and vacations.

6. Make a holiday schedule that is fair for each parent.

7. Decide the time that each parent is allowed to take the child on vacation.

8. Put in any special events in the schedule, and decide how you will make changes to the schedule as they are needed.

To get started making your parenting plan, you should first look at some common parenting plan templates. Here are some types of common templates that can give you a foundation for making the rest of your plan.

1. A joint legal and physical custody template. This is a type of shared parenting plan. With a joint legal and physical custody plan, both parents have the children live with them for significant periods of time (these exact arrangements are based on the needs of the children and not on giving the parents equal time) and both parents make decisions for and are involved with the children. To make this kind of plan, it works best if the mother and father can sit down together and agree on the plan.

2. A joint legal and sole physical custody template. In this plan, the parents share the responsibility of making decisions for the children (legal custody) but the child lives primarily with one parent and visits the other parent. This type of plan works if one parent is the primary caretaker of the children but the other parent still wants access to records and wants to be involved with the children.

3. A sole legal and physical custody template. With this arrangement, one parent has all legal responsibility for the children and makes all of the decisions for them. The parents also live with this parent and visit the other parent. This template is not a very good one if both parents are involved in the child’s life. In cases of domestic violence and crime, this is the template the parents usually follow.

A common custody provision that parents include in their parenting plan and custody agreement is the right of first refusal. By including the right of first refusal in your parenting plan, you guarantee that anytime the other parent needs someone to watch the children, they must ask you first. Let’s explore this a little bit more.

Parents who include right of first refusal basically want the opportunity to watch the children when the other parent has them. This means that instead of calling a babysitter when a parent wants to go out, the parent calls the other parent first and gives them the right to first refuse the children. So, let’s say that the mother of two little boys decides to go on a three day vacation during the week when she has custody. Instead of calling her parents to watch the children, she must first call the boys’ father and give him the right to have the three days with the children. If he refuses, then she can find someone else to watch them.

You can set the time for when the parents have the right of first refusal. Some parents have the provision that anytime a parent is going to call someone to watch the children (even if it is just for an hour) they have to first call the other parent. This can be kind of difficult, and so many parents set the time from between 5-8 hours. So, if a parent is going to be away from the child for more than 5 hours (or whatever the exact hour you choose) they have to call the other parent to watch the children.

The right of first refusal custody provision can really enhance your agreement. It can also get you some extra time with the children, and you can be confident that the other parent isn’t dropping the children off with other people for extended periods of time. Custody X Change includes this and many other custody agreement provisions for parents to include in their plan.

Note: if the other parent fails to comply with the right of first refusal, the parent has violated the custody agreement or parenting plan. You can file a complaint with the court to show that the other parent is in contempt of the custody order. You may have to go to court and show evidence that the right of first refusal was denied. If possible, you can discuss the situation with the other parent first to come up with a solution.

Are you looking for a child visitation schedule template? Here is a basic one to get you started.

The Repeating Cycle of Custody and Visitation

• Get a blank calendar that has 2-4 weeks.
• Fill out the basic cycle of custody and visitation.
• When you have the basic cycle, count the number of weeks.
• Repeat the weeks of the cycle throughout the calendar year.

A Holiday Schedule

• Make a list of the holidays you want to include.
• Decide how you will share the holidays–by splitting the time or alternating the holidays.
• Assign the holiday time to each parent.
• Pick a method for how you will figure out holidays each year (alternating the schedule every year, making a new one, etc)

Vacation Time

• Decide if you want a different schedule of custody and visitation during the child’s vacations and breaks from school.
• Make a different schedule for vacation time if you want.
• Decide how many days each parent has to take the children on vacation each year.
• Assign the dates of the vacation, or allow parents to have unspecified vacations (this means that parents can have so many days with the children for vacation and they can pick the dates later).

Special Events

• Look at the calendar to see if your child has any special events that will change the custody schedule (like sporting events, concerts, etc.)
• Reassign the custody as necessary.

Custody X Change is custody software that provides the best visitation schedule template available. With the software, parents can make all of these parts of the visitation schedule, see the exact timeshare percentage that each parent has with the children while setting up the schedule, and explore many different options for the schedule. You can download a free trial of the software and make your visitation schedule today.

Do you want a custody schedule that gives each parent equal time with the children? Here are some 50/50 child custody schedule examples to consider.

Alternating Weeks

In this schedule, the parents simply alternate weeks of custody with the child. Of course, the parents can choose what day to exchange–this picture shows an exchange on Friday evening. This type of schedule works best if parents live close to each other and close to the child’s school or other activities. The advantage is that the child has a very stable schedule with few exchanges during the week. However, the child has to adjust weekly to a new living situation, and not all children are able to do this.

Variations: parents can add mid-week evening or overnight visits to the other parent if a week feels like too long of a stretch to not see the child. Parents can also choose to alternate custody every two weeks if that works better for them.

Splitting the Week in Half

In this schedule, the parents split the week in half and each parent has the child for half of the week. The parents can adjust the days and times to get the schedule they want. Again, with this schedule the parents both need to live close to the child’s school or other activities (if the child is old enough to go to school).

Variations: Parents can add an evening or afternoon visit to the other parent during any of the days.

2/2/5/5 Split Custody Schedule

This schedule gives one parent 2 days with the children and then the other parent 2 days with the children. Then, each parent has 5 days with the children. This is a lot of switching back and forth for the child–so it is helpful if the parents live close to each other and the child adapts well to each home.

Parents can adjust the days and times of exchanges so that they alternate weekends. They can also add afternoon or evening visits as they feel they are necessary.

3/3/4/4 Split Custody Schedule

This schedule is like the one above, except that the parents each have 3 days and then they each have 4. Some parents find great success with switching so often, and other parents find that it is too complicated for their children. You should base your custody schedule on what works best for your child.

Again, parents can switch the exchange days so that they have different days with the children–this schedule can be arranged so the parents alternate weekends.

Other Variations

The great thing about using Custody X Change (where all of the previous pictures are from) is that it is really easy to set up 50/50 child custody schedules. With the program, you can set up different custody and visitation schedules and see the exact timeshare percentage that each parent has with the children. This means you can add visitation and change the custody times so each parent really has fifty percent of the time with the children. You can also adjust holiday time and add vacation schedules to equal out the time. If you want to make a 50/50 schedule, you should download the software.

When parents divorce there are a lot of decisions that need to be made quickly. Many times parents must make plans for their children during a whirlwind of activity, and they may not have enough time to really think through all of the issues and decide what is best for the children. Fortunately, parents don’t need to rush into a permanent custody agreement. They can make a temporary child custody agreement to get things started.

A temporary custody agreement is exactly what is sounds like–temporary custody arrangements for the children. A mother and father make arrangements for the children until they come up with a permanent solution. A temporary custody agreement doesn’t need to be as detailed as a permanent agreement, but it should contain a temporary custody and visitation schedule and temporary custody provisions that parents want to implement. Parents usually make a temporary custody agreement when they are not sure the best place for the child to live and they want to test some initial arrangements, when they need an agreement quickly and don’t have time to make a permanent one, when there is a lot of change going on and they are waiting for things to settle before making a final agreement, etc.

The process for making a temporary agreement is quite similar to making the final one. Ideally, a mother and father can work together to come up with the arrangements for how they will share custody of the children. They write up a plan for how they will share time with the children and handle other responsibilities (they should pay particular attention to handling finances during this time). The parents can go to court and have the temporary custody agreement approved by a judge (the judge will put a date when the temporary agreement ends and a permanent one should be submitted) or they can both just agree to it. If the mother and father do not agree on custody, they can go to court and have the judge determine the temporary agreement.

If a parent is worried about the other parent’s behavior concerning the children (for example, if a parent is worried the other parent will kidnap the children and leave) then they should immediately go to court and explain the emergency situation. The judge will grant a temporary custody agreement to ensure that they can do something if the other parent leaves with the children.

Creating a successful parenting plan is the goal of any parent who is in the process of making a plan. The difference between a mediocre plan and one that really fits the needs of the children is in the extra provisions and plans that the parents include. Here are some of the issues to discuss and include in your plan to make it truly successful.

Transportation for Visits

To really make a good plan, you must figure out how you and the other parent will handle transporting the children to and from visitation. There are many solutions to this, and you need to figure out what works best for your situation. You need to decide how the child will get to and from visits, and how you and the other parent will share the expense of transporting the child. Some possible ideas include: both parents meeting halfway for exchanges, each parent dropping the child off at the other parent’s house before and after visits, one parent driving and the other paying for gas and cost, etc. This can get even more complicated if one parent lives out of state.

Communicating About the Child

You and the other parent need to develop a system so you can share information about the child. This simply has to be done if both parents are to be on the same page. You should never have the child deliver messages to the parents–the parents should speak directly to each other. Parents can set up a weekly meeting, call each other, email, send letters, etc. It is best to work out an easy system for both parents and put it right in the plan.

Special Events

Every child has special events that come in school or otherwise. You and the other parent need to figure out how you will handle these. Will both parents attend back to school night? What about the family picnic for the baseball team? Parents can choose to divide up the activities, or set up a way to decide which parent will go as the activities come up.

Scheduling Other Contact

You need to make some guidelines about each parent contacting the children. In general, it is best if the children have frequent contact with both parents. This means that when the child goes for a visit, the other parent can call at bedtime to say goodnight. Or, the parent who doesn’t live with the children can call regularly and send emails. It is helpful for both parents to talk about this issue so they both know what to expect and so neither parent feels like the other parent is intruding.

These are just some of the guidelines for an successful parenting plan template. You can also think about any areas that have caused trouble or conflict in the past and think of a way to resolve the problem in the plan. This should help your plan work out best for your child.

Setting up the holiday custody and visitation schedule is a very important part of your parenting time schedule. Children have a lot of memories and expectations that go along with holidays, and when parents separate or divorce the children can have great anxiety that their holidays will no longer be any fun. You need to make a schedule and be prepared to discuss it with your children. You should explain to them how the holiday schedule will work and reassure the children that holidays will still be special family time, but the child will celebrate the holiday differently than before. Here are some ideas for preparing your holiday schedule.

You actually have some options when it comes to holidays. First, you and the other parent need to decide how you will share holiday time. You can choose to divide the day of the holiday between both parents, you can alternate important holidays, you can do a combination of both methods, and you can give both parents separate days to celebrate the same holiday. Here are some example holiday custody schedules.

Let’s say you and the other parent want to split the holiday time on the actually holiday. First, you want to make a list of all of the holidays that you want to share. Common shared holidays include Easter, July 4th, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Then you decide which parent has the child for the first half of the day and which parent has the child the second half of the day. You should also determine how the transportation will work on the holiday.

A slight variation of sharing the holiday is to give both parents a time to celebrate the holiday. For example, one parent can have the child on Christmas Eve, and the other parent has the child on Christmas day. One parent has the child on Thanksgiving day, and the other parent has them for the weekend following Thanksgiving. This can be a nice arrangement for the child because the child has time to settle in and actually enjoy the holiday.

Another holiday visitation schedule option is for you and the other parent to alternate the major holidays. In this case, you should make a list of all of the holidays you want to celebrate. The list can be extensive and include all holidays, or as few holidays as the you want. You and the other parent then go through and divide the holidays. You can agree to swap holidays every year so that they end up with a fair schedule. You can also choose a different method of alternating holidays–some parents create a new holiday schedule every year.

Remember that the holiday schedule should be made according to what is best for the child. Because of this, you may find that a combination of the above methods works best. Some of the holidays can be shared, and other holidays can be alternated. Determine what is best for your child and celebrate the holidays accordingly.

Custody X Change makes it easy to set up a holiday custody schedule. There is a Canadian, Australian, and US version of the software so you can set up a Canadian holiday custody schedule, Australian holiday custody schedule, or US holiday custody schedule. You can download a free trial of the software to see how it can help you assign holiday time.

Figuring out the child visitation schedule is tricky for any situation, but when one parent moves out of state it gets even more complicated. However, a parent moving out of state doesn’t mean a schedule can’t be figured out. Parents just need to be more creative in implementing visitation and contact between the children and parents.

Before moving out of state, a parent should assess the custody situation. If the parent who wants to move does not have custody of the children, they should discuss the move with the custodial parent. Determining a schedule will be much easier if both parents are on the same page about visitation. This means that the parent who wants to move needs to explain the necessity of the move to the other parent, along with explaining the desire to continue to see the child. In some cases, the parent may need to get permission from the court before moving. This is a good idea because it ensures that the parent will still have visitation rights.

If a custodial parent wants to move, they must get permission from the court and from the other parent. Because the custodial parent is most likely taking the child away from the parent, this can be more complicated. Again, the mother and father should discuss the necessity of the move and the benefits it will have for the children. The parent who is moving should ensure the other parent that they will still have visitation, and they should work together to make that happen.

Out of state child visitation schedules usually mean that the child visits the non-custodial parent less frequently for longer durations of time. A common arrangement is to have the children live with the custodial parent during the school year and visit the other parent during summers. If this long visit doesn’t work for the children (some children have activities during the summer, and older children sometimes get jobs) than the parents should work out a shorter vacation time to come and visit. Parents can also schedule longer visits during the breaks during the school year–like fall, Christmas, and spring break. This assumes that the child is old enough to travel alone.

Parents who live out of state can also visit the child in the child’s home state. This is a good idea when the parent’s traveling schedule is more flexible than the child’s. If this type of visit occurs, the parents need to work out where the visiting parent will stay, when they will see the children, etc.

Another option is to have the custodial parent and the child visit the state of the non-custodial parent. In this case, the custodial parent can have a vacation or break while the child visits with the other parent.

When determine out of state custody schedules, parents need to talk about how they will handle expenses. The parents need to decide how they will pay for the child to travel, the expense of the parents traveling, etc. This is an important issue to work out before visits start.

Fortunately, the technology of the day allows people to stay connected even when they live far away from each other. A parent who moves out of state should utilize any means to stay in contact with the child. The parent should call regularly–even have a schedule of when to call, communicate over email, send letters, get a computer camera and talk online, send text messages, etc. This way the parent can still be involved with the child.