Developing a Successful Parenting Plan

If you don't want to pay the high cost of an attorney, and want to easily make your own agreement, you can use the Custody X Change software. You can write up your own parenting plan (on your own or with the other parent) or you can work with an attorney or legal professional and have them create it.

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans. You make each part of your agreement, and then you can print professional documents of your plan. Download a free 30-day trial and see how it can help you.

You can use Custody X Change to:

• Explore options for your parenting plan
• Negotiate an agreement with the other parent
• Work with your attorney to come up with a parenting plan you like
• Prepare sample agreements for mediation
• Make a plan to present in court
• Track your plan once it is in place

A successful parenting plan reassures children that they are cared for, supported and protected by both parents despite the breakup of a marriage. The parenting plan allows you, the other parent, and the children know what to expect in almost any situation, which reduces miscommunication and frustration for everyone.

Being a parent to children is tough enough for married couples, but when you and the other parent live in separate places, the challenges increase. Relationships with each other and with your children become much more complicated. A successful parenting plan spells out what you and the other parent agree upon when it comes to raising and supporting your children.

Ultimately, a successful parenting plan addresses the children's needs--physically, mentally and emotionally--and puts those needs before any wants or desires from you or the other parent. Age appropriate custody schedules are a critical part of a successful parenting plan.

The most successful parenting plans are limited in duration. This means that they are specifically tailored for the children's age and ability for a year or two. These plans are then revised to meet the newly emerging needs of each growing and developing child.

While there is no single parenting plan that fits every family, there are certain factors that should be considered when you and the other parent are creating one to fit your own unique situation. Above all, remember that it is in your children’s best interests to have two loving parents who are involved with their lives on a regular basis.

Some of the most critical factors to consider for each of your children in a successful parenting plan are:

• Age and temperament
• Social maturity in adapting to new situations
• Special medical or developmental needs
• Special educational needs
• Relationship with siblings
• Daily schedules
• Work schedules for each parent
• Flexibility in each parent’s schedule
• Proximity of each parent’s residence
• Proximity to each of your children’s schools

Assess these factors when designing a plan for your family, plus any other considerations that are unique to your situation. An honest evaluation can help you and the other parent develop a framework for an individualized parenting plan with the most chance as success.

Whether you and the other parent are divorced, separated or never married, you are going to be parents to your children for the rest of your lives. You are in the business of raising healthy and successful children, so approach this important task for their sake, not your own.

Here are 5 things that you and the other parent should agree upon in order to create a successful parenting plan:

1. Agree to adapt your personal lives and schedules to meet the needs of your children.
2. Agree to honestly evaluate yourself in regards to co-parenting.
3. Agree to be flexible in areas that are less important to you.
4. Agree to control your words and actions, while avoiding blame and accusations.
5. Agree to take any disagreements to mediation.

Many parents find it helpful to use custody software such as Custody X Change. It provides templates for parenting plans that you and the other parent can create together. Most likely, you can resolve most of the parenting plan issues with Custody X Change without an attorney, then use the legal system to help you negotiate areas you don't agree on.

From infancy through elementary school, children thrive in a routine and stable environment that emphasizes support and care, which is what a successful parenting plan for young children provides. There are plenty of chances for parents to ensure healthy development in their children by catering to what the children need instead of what parents desire.

Some general traits of a successful parenting plan for young children include:

• Shorter, more frequent contact with both parents
• No separations for more than a day for very young children, and a few days for older elementary-age children
• Opportunities for parents to perform important caretaking duties, such as diapering and feeding small children and helping elementary-age children with homework.
• A daily communication log exchanged between parents
• Consistent rules for behavior and similar discipline routines
• Limited single overnight visits after age 3 or so, depending on the children's adjustment
• Regularly scheduled times for children to talk to the absent parent by phone
• Accommodations for children’s social activities
  

When separated parents of young children can implement these traits into their parenting plan, the stress and anxiety often exhibited in young children of divorce is greatly reduced. It will also reduce frustration for you and the other parent when your young children transition smoothly between you.

A successful parenting plan for older children balances boundaries with more independence, which junior high and high school children need from their parents. A parenting plan, especially the custody schedule, will look quite different that one for younger children. As parents, you and the other parent must look at your older children's needs and customize the parenting plan to fit.

Some of the key traits to a successful parenting plan for older children include:

• Time for children to explore outside activities beyond family and school
• Recreational allowances to be with friends
• Employment for children 16 and older
• Consistent boundaries and rules with age appropriate discipline
• Flexible calendars that cater to the child's busy schedule
• Longer time away from each parent, including a few overnights during the week or on weekends
• Consideration of the children's preferences for living arrangements and visitations

Older children can give you valuable feedback into what they feel is the most and least stressful aspects of things like schedules or splitting time between homes. While their input is valuable, you and the other parent have the final say in what will be the most appropriate parenting plan for your family.

When your successful parenting plan no longer seems to be working for your children, it's time to meet with the other parent to discuss revisions. As children reach certain developmental stages, what was once appropriate in the parenting plan may no longer apply.

Here are a few clues to indicate that your parenting plan is in need of revision:

• Your children exhibit unusual symptoms of stress or anxiety
• Your children tell you about a problem with scheduling or transitions
• Your children miss regularly scheduled activities
• You undergo big changes, such as remarriage or a move
• You observe a particular time of the week when things seem too hectic
• You notice increasing miscommunication with the other parent
• Your children's teachers report a change in grades or behavior

When you and the other parent decide it's time to revise the parenting plan, try Custody X Change software. It allows you to modify your existing parenting plan and provides plenty of templates to use to create a successful parenting plan that fits your growing children.

See also:

• How to create a successful parenting plan
• Considerations for an effective custody and visitation plan
• Easily create a custody agreement

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