Creating a Parenting Plan for Young Children

You can write up your own parenting plan or you can work with an attorney or legal professional and have them create one. If you don't want to pay the high cost of an attorney, and feel like you and the other parent can easily make your own agreement, use the Custody X Change software.

Custody X Change is software that creates parenting plans. You create each part of your agreement, then print out professional documents of your plan. Download a free 30-day trial and see how it can help you.

You can use Custody X Change to:

• Explore options for your parenting plan
• Negotiate an agreement with the other parent
• Work with your attorney to come up with a parenting plan you like
• Prepare sample agreements for mediation
• Make a plan to present in court
• Track your plan once it is in place

A comprehensive parenting plan ensures that young children receive the best physical and emotional care from their separated parents. A parenting plan gives children a stable, consistent schedule while reducing misunderstandings and frustration between parents.

Primarily, a parenting plan includes:

• Details on where the young child will primarily reside
• Frequency and location of visits with the non-custodial parent
• Schedules that outline where the child sleeps each night
• Specifics on the child's transportation needs, such as to school or after school activities
• Agreements on various aspects of parenting, such as discipline and TV time
• Plans for how holidays, vacations and special events will be spent
• Steps on how parents will handle variations to the schedule
• Decisions on any unique aspects of the child's life, such as those with special needs

Start your parenting plan for young children by looking at each child's current lifestyle and schedule, then try to introduce as few disruptions as possible. You must work out a time-sharing arrangement that provides for the specific needs of each child, based on what they experienced before your separation.

Before writing out your parenting plan, consider these aspects for each child:

• Age and maturity
• Temperament and social skills
• Specific medical needs
• Current daily schedule
• Quality of relationship with each parent before the separation
• What level of care each parent provided
• Current attachments to school, friends, third-party caregivers and extended family

Any future goals that each parent wishes to work toward, such as increasing the number of overnight visits for young children, must be implemented slowly and only after the children demonstrate success with small transitions. As children reach certain milestones, you can modify the parenting plan to accommodate changes.

Young children benefit from knowing what to expect in their daily routine, so create a parenting plan with a detailed daily, weekly and monthly schedule. Young children can adapt quickly to a set routine that requires them to spend time in both places when the transitions are clearly outlined.

Because young children don't have a highly developed sense of time, seeing a visual calendar can help them understand when it is time to visit the other parent. Custody X Change software allows you to print out calendars that clearly indicate which days the children will be with you and which days will be with the other parent.

Here are 5 tips on using the calendar in your parenting plan to make transitions smoother for young children:

1. Use separate colors on the calendar to indicate time with each parent.
2. Post the calendar in an easy-to-see location, like the refrigerator.
3. Help your child count out how many "sleeps" until the next visit.
4. Review the schedule at the beginning of each day, focusing on transitions such as who will pick your child up from day care.
5. Keep your language and tone positive to send reassuring messages to your child that he or she is being taken care of by both parents.

You can tell when your parenting plan is working out for your young children when they demonstrate confidence and comfort in staying with either parent. Your children will also show minimal signs of stress associated with their daily routine.

Divorce puts an enormous amount of stress on young children, and it's important for parents to introduce change slowly and gradually. If you notice signs of stress and anxiety in your young children, it may be time to scale changes back to a more manageable level to allow your children to adapt a little at a time.

Signs of stress in young children include:

• Irritability and excessive crying
• Regressive behavior, such as bed-wetting after successful potty training
• Hyperactivity
• Aggression
• Lethargy
• Loss of appetite
• Complaints of not feeling well, such as headaches and stomach aches

If you and the other parent feel that your young children are too stressed or anxious, you can change your parenting plan in an attempt to reduce or eliminate some of the problems, within reason. Custody X Change software allows you to make immediate changes to your parenting plan so you can be on the same page when it comes to successfully parenting your young children.

You should revise your parenting plan whenever your young children reach new developmental stages in growth and maturity. What is appropriate for infants or toddlers may no longer apply to young children or school-aged children. Therefore, the parenting plan and schedule should be revised to accommodate the updated needs of the children.

Also, review your parenting plan when a significant event takes place in the young children's lives, such as the birth of a new brother or sister, the marriage of one parent or moving to a new area. Custody X Change makes updating your parenting plan easy, and changes to the schedule can be implemented immediately.

A parenting plan should always be reviewed when there are health or safety issues that concern the child, such as evidence of criminal activity, abuse or neglect. Consult an attorney if you suspect any of these issues affect your young children.

A detailed parenting plan can minimize disagreements and misunderstandings between you and the other parent, reducing the time with your attorneys and with courts that determine parenting responsibilities when two parents cannot agree.

While it may seem like a lot of work, a good parenting plan will make your separation or divorce more amicable. The more you and the other parent can work together without an attorney, the lower your overall legal fees and attorney costs will be. Parents with lower-conflict child custody disputes tend to experience lower legal costs overall.

With Custody X Change's comprehensive parenting plan template, you can create your own parenting plan for your young children, either for the other parent to review or to present to your attorney.

See also:

• How to create a successful parenting plan
• Considerations for an effective custody and visitation plan
• Easily create a custody agreement

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