Child Custody Dispute
Your custody arrangements will have a long lasting impact on the way your child is raised, how much time you will be able to spend with your child, and will have a tremendous effect on the relationships your child will have with each parent.
Creating a custody agreement is one of the most important aspects of a divorce but many parents experience difficulties when trying to reach an agreement.
How difficult has it been for you and your former spouse to come to an agreement about custody? Unfortunately for many parents, their custody situation quickly turns into a dispute about everything from which parent the child will live with to where the pick-up location should be.
Many parents finding themselves in the middle of a dispute want to settle it without giving up time with their child.
Custody X Change can help.
Child custody software
Custody X Change is software that creates custody agreements and custody schedules. You make each part of your agreement, and then you can print professional documents of your plan and schedule. Download a free 30-day trial and see how it can help you.
You can use Custody X Change to:
- Create your custody agreement and custody schedule
- Prepare for court, mediation, and negotiations with the other parent
- Work with your attorney to prepare your agreement
- Track your actual parenting time
- Keep a custody and visitation journal
Using Custody X Change to create your custody agreement is a great way to keep everything organized and avoid conflict without forgetting any important parts of the agreement.
There are many ways that Custody X Change will make it easier to create an agreement, but there are also a few ways the software will help you reach an agreement when you and your ex are in a custody dispute.
Custody X Change can help you:
- Remove yourself from the equation. When you use Custody X Change to create your child custody agreement, you will be able to provide the other parent with a professional document for their review. Dealing with a document makes it less personal and it is a lot easier to deal with some papers that to deal with your ex directly.
- Visualize the proposed custody schedule. You can use Custody X Change to create a custody and visitation schedule and have it applied to a calendar. The calendar lets you easily add in a holiday schedule, vacation time and one time and recurring special events. When you have an actual calendar you will both be able to get a better picture of how the schedule will be. The calendar can be easily edited.
- Know exactly how much time you have with your child. One of the main things most parents fight over is how much time they want to have with their child. Custody X Change uses your schedule to keep track of the time-share percentages that each parent has the child. This report can be so helpful if you want an accurate assessment of how the child's time is spent and it also useful in determining child support.
- Have a very detailed custody agreement. With Custody X Change, you can add in as many provisions as you would like. The more details you are able to agree upon now, the less conflict you will have in the future since you will have predetermined the "rules" for raising your child.
You can use Custody X Change to bring an end to your child custody dispute by using the program to negotiate with the parent and to create a parenting plan that both of you agree on. You can also use your documents to prepare for mediation and to present (and win) your case in court.
One of the most common reasons for disputes in custody cases is simply that the parents care more about their own personal wants and needs and forget to put their needs of their child first.
The best interest of the child is the most important factor that family court judges consider when making decisions in custody cases. The judge will consider all information that has an effect on the child's best interests, including:
- The wishes of the child (taken in light of the child's age)
- The emotional, physical, and educational needs of the child and how each parent is equipped to meet those needs
- The mental and physical health of both parents and the child
- The history of the child's care
- The quality of the relationships between the child and each parent
- The need for continuation of a stable home environment
- The opportunity for the child to have or to continue to have relationships with extended family and other relatives
- The willingness, interest, and ability of each parent to love, nurture and properly care for the child
- How the child is adjusted to his or her home, school, and community
- Whether or not the child has any siblings
- Whether or not the child is, has, or is likely to suffer any harm while in the care of either parent
- Any cultural or linguistic preferences or needs
- Any other relevant information that has an effect on the child's health and well-being
You should always keep the best interests of your child in mind when making decisions for your custody agreement.
If you cannot seem to reach an agreement with the other parent, mediation is an option that may help you end your custody dispute.
Many courts have mediators available to help you resolve your differences in lieu of litigation. Here are some things to expect and some tips on what to do when you attend mediation:
- The mediator is an impartial party who is there to help you reach an agreement on your own.
- The mediator will listen to both sides of the story and offer you an objective opinion.
- The mediator is not there to decide who the "better" parent is. The main concern of the mediator is the best interest of your child.
- The mediator has "heard it all" so if you go in there blaming and accusing without compelling evidence to substantiate your claims it will probably just reflect poorly on you.
- In some states, the mediator will make a recommendation to the court that the judge is likely to follow.
- In other states, the mediator will only disclose the items you have agreed upon to the court and the judge will decide on the issues that are still in dispute.
- In some states, what you disclose to the mediator is confidential.
- In other states, the mediator may disclose information (such as your demeanor and attitude) to the judge. You can ask your mediator up front if you are unsure or concerned about this.
- While you certainly aren't expected to be overly friendly with your ex, you should greet him or her (as well as the mediator) in a professional and cordial manner.
- Be prepared. You should go to mediation with a proposed parenting plan and a child visitation calendar. You may want to bring a few options to be considered.
- It is always better to remain calm and professional in mediation.
- If the other parent attempts to engage in an argument, begins to raise their voice, or even starts making false allegations, it reflects better on you if you remain calm and direct your responses toward the mediator.
- Don't be afraid to ask for a "time-out" if things get heated or you need a few moments to calm down or consider anything before making a decision.
- Approach mediation with an open mind and be prepared to listen to the mediator and the other parent.
- Do not interrupt the mediator or the other parent.
- Don't bring up child support or property issues when you are negotiating the parenting plan
- The goal of mediation is to work out an agreement with the other parent so you should go in with an open mind and be willing to compromise for the sake of your child.
If you have tried to reach an agreement with the other parent and you just aren't able to do so, the judge will make the decision for you.
To prepare for this, you can submit the items you were able to agree upon along with a proposed parenting plan and visitation calendar for the judge to review. This will give the judge some options to consider besides a "standard" plan.