Child Custody & Visitation Blog

When parents commence on a child custody case, they often wonder if they should hire or retain a child custody lawyer. Does every situation need an attorney? How can a parent know if they should get a custody attorney? Here are some suggestions to help you know if an attorney could help your case.

1. You and the other parent have disagreed about everything. If you and the child’s parent haven’t been able to get along during any part of your divorce, you will probably need to hire a custody lawyer. The more hostile the situation is, the more you need an attorney to look out for your best interest. In contrast, if you and the child’s other parent have been able to work out a lot of issues together, you will probably be able to work out your child custody issues.

2. You have had problems with temporary child custody. If you and the other parent have had huge fights over the temporary custody situation, you will probably have problems settling the permanent situation. If you and the other parent have been to court over the temporary custody or the other parent has disobeyed the temporary custody order you will want a lawyer to protect your interests. However, if you have been able to come up with a temporary schedule and things have gone smoothly, you may not need an attorney for your case.

3. The other parent hasn’t been fully honest in the past. If the other parent has been sneaky about past actions then you can’t trust them during the custody situation. For example, if the other parent has hidden information during the divorce, has lied in court, has told you things and then acted oppositely, you won’t be able to work things out with them.

4. The other parent has hired an attorney. There are too many instances of a parent not suspecting the intentions of the other parent while the other parent quickly hires an attorney for the custody case. The unsuspecting parent doesn’t realize that the other parent has ceased communication and is rearing up for a custody battle. If the other parent has retained an attorney, isn’t communicating with you, and is avoiding contact, you should hire an attorney for your custody situation.

Child custody cases can range from simple to complex. Regardless of where your particular case falls on this spectrum, there are a few things you must know about child custody. While learning these tips will not guarantee your success, going to court without them could be disastrous.

Keep these important facts in mind to help you win your child custody case:

1. What is in the best interest of your child? This is the primary question the family court judge is seeking to answer when he or she awards custody of your child. Keep this in mind in all dealing with the court and court personnel. Everything you do, everything you say, and every paper you file should indicate that you are the stronger candidate for custody of your child.
2. Be Prepared: Research what happens in a child custody case before you go to court. If you do not know what to expect, you can be swept along by a fast paced trial, and end up with a custody order that does not entirely suit your purposes. By learning what to expect, you will be prepared to answer questions, and be able to state your preferences, and the reasons for those preferences clearly and confidently in court.
3. Ask for help: If you need help, or don’t understand something, ask questions until you do. If you are representing yourself, it is imperative that you fully understand the different types of custody, and what the court can and can’t do for you. Even if you have an attorney, you should ask questions if you do not fully understand something about your case.
4. Know what you want: Come to court armed with a custody and visitation schedule already lined out, whether your child’s other parent has agreed to it or not. By knowing what you want, and what you will settle for, you can make a clear and convincing argument for your side. By handing the judge a prepared agreement, you also make it easier for him or her to rule in your favor.
5. Document everything: Put everything in writing. If it isn’t written down, it didn’t happen, as far as court is concerned. Write down everything from your strong points (a list of what you do for your child daily, different things you do together, etc), to your former spouses weaknesses (they didn’t show up for a meeting, forgot a visitation, have unsafe habits or practices, etc). You should also document the money you spend raising, housing, and feeding your child, for proof of both your commitment, and to your support needs.

While every child custody case is unique, heeding the above advice will make your case stronger, and will make it more likely that you will achieve the outcome you want.

Child custody situations can be very complicated–especially if the parents live in separate states, or if a parent wants to move to a different state after separation. What are a parent’s child custody rights in these cases? How can the custody issues be worked out?

In this post we’ll look at a situation where the parents of the child live in different states. This also applies to the cases where a mother or father quickly moves to a different state (with or without the child) to try and get around the custody rulings in their home state.

First, parents should realize that once a custody case has been opened–meaning custody papers have been filed and the case is still going on in the court–the parents are not allowed to move with the child. If a mother or father takes the child out of state at this time it is kidnapping. If you are fearful that the other parent will take the child and move, you must act immediately to obtain a temporary child custody order. This will make it easier for the law enforcement to find the other parent should the need arise.

Now, to help regulate custody issues between the state, every state has adopted the Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA). This act governs insterstate child custody cases. To fine a complete copy of the act, visit this site: http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189181.pdf

Basically, this act specifies when states have jurisdiction over a custody case. Some of the main points include:  a custody case must be held in the state court where the child has lived for at least six months, if a custody case is pending in one state another case can’t be started in another state, and the state where the initial case was settled will decide about modifications. This means that a parent can’t move around with the child hoping to get a different court to give a different ruling about custody. The case must go to the court where the child lives and once the case is opened it stays at that court. So, if a mother and father live in different states, they have the custody right to know that their custody case will be handled in the court in the state where the child has been living for the last six months. If the child hasn’t lived in a single place for the last six months, the courts will look at where the child is most at home (some of the factors that indicate a child’s home are if there is a lot of extended family in the area, the child has spent a lot of time growing up in one place, etc).

Along with the UCCJEA, states have accepted the Federal Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (the PKPA). This act requires that states enforce custody agreements that come from another state and that a state not exercise jurisdiction over a custody case if another state claims jurisdiction. This is another law that helps child custody cases be heard in the proper place.

In the next post we’ll look at what parents should do if they need to relocate to a different state when they have a custody order.

A parent who begins a child custody case usually has a lot of questions. Here are some of the common child custody questions and their answers to help parents get started.

1. How do I begin a child custody case? Technically a case begins when you file for child custody at the courthouse. To do this, you simply fill out some papers and file them with the court. In some states you will need to have those papers served to the other parent and then they have a chance to respond. When you file your papers, you will receive a court date. Really, though, a custody case begins as soon as the parents know they will be separating or divorcing. When this happens, parents should start thinking about the custody arrangements they want and how they will make things work.

2. Do I need an attorney for my custody case? This completely depends on your situation. It’s usually a good idea to consult with an attorney and see what they say about your situation. It doesn’t hurt to find out how they will handle things. If it doesn’t sound like it will be too complicated, then you may not need an attorney. If you and the other parent can work together on a parenting plan or work things out, you can probably handle things on your own. If you and the other parent are involved in a complex custody battle, you probably want a lawyer to help you.

3. How do I win a child custody case? If you end up with a custody agreement that you like, you’ve won your child custody case. If both parents are happy with the arrangements, it is even better because they will be more likely to abide by the plan and it will last longer. You can win your case by working with the other parent to create an agreement or going to court and convincing the court to accept your plan.

4. How do I prepare for a custody case? If you are going to court for your case, you need to be prepared. You should create a parenting plan that you think is the best for the child and have reasons why the court should adopt that plan. Those reasons should all be focused on why your plan is in the best interest of the child. As part of your parenting plan, you should include a custody and visitation schedule, a holiday schedule, any parenting provisions, and other documents that you want included.

Will a bitter child custody battle harm your child? It can certainly affect them in negative ways. Depending on the age of your child, they may or may not fully understand what is going on, but even the youngest child can be affected by a nasty custody battle. You can minimize the effects of your custody case on your children by doing the following.

1. Never let your child hear you speak badly about the other parent. No matter how difficult your former spouse is being, you should never mention this in front of your child. Not only could this cause your child to feel neglected by and alienated from that parent, this practice is frowned up on by the court. While complaints about the other parent may be justified, they can damage your court case, so choose your words with care.
2. Don’t argue in front of your child. Discuss the aspects of your case, and decide on custody agreements on your own. While these things affect your child’s life, hearing you and the other parent arguing about them can be very stressful. Decide together (if you can), and then present your plan to your child together.
3. Do not pressure your child. Don’t pressure your child to choose between his or her parents. If your child is old enough to express a preference in court, you should do your best not to pressure your child. Having to state a preference is stressful enough without added parental pressure.
4. Get support. Even if your child custody battle is very time consuming, make sure your child maintains healthy relationships with friends and family members. Don’t hesitate to meet with a child or family therapist if you think you need help coping with your new situation.
5. Take a break. Don’t be so overwhelmed by your child custody case that you forget to actually live your life and do fun things with your children. It is easy to get caught up in the struggle, and forget that your children need time to be kids, and to relax and play, no matter how big they are.
6. Talk to your child: Even big kids need to be reminded that even though their parents are divorcing, they are loved and will be cared for. Make sure your children know that your problems are not their fault, and that they did not do anything wrong. Allow your child to express his or her feelings, without judgment, whether you think they are “right” or not.

While every child and every custody battle is unique, heeding the above advice will lessen the impact your custody battle has on your children.