Child Custody & Visitation Blog

Will a bitter child custody battle harm your child? It can certainly affect them in negative ways. Depending on the age of your child, they may or may not fully understand what is going on, but even the youngest child can be affected by a nasty custody battle. You can minimize the effects of your custody case on your children by doing the following.

1. Never let your child hear you speak badly about the other parent. No matter how difficult your former spouse is being, you should never mention this in front of your child. Not only could this cause your child to feel neglected by and alienated from that parent, this practice is frowned up on by the court. While complaints about the other parent may be justified, they can damage your court case, so choose your words with care.
2. Don’t argue in front of your child. Discuss the aspects of your case, and decide on custody agreements on your own. While these things affect your child’s life, hearing you and the other parent arguing about them can be very stressful. Decide together (if you can), and then present your plan to your child together.
3. Do not pressure your child. Don’t pressure your child to choose between his or her parents. If your child is old enough to express a preference in court, you should do your best not to pressure your child. Having to state a preference is stressful enough without added parental pressure.
4. Get support. Even if your child custody battle is very time consuming, make sure your child maintains healthy relationships with friends and family members. Don’t hesitate to meet with a child or family therapist if you think you need help coping with your new situation.
5. Take a break. Don’t be so overwhelmed by your child custody case that you forget to actually live your life and do fun things with your children. It is easy to get caught up in the struggle, and forget that your children need time to be kids, and to relax and play, no matter how big they are.
6. Talk to your child: Even big kids need to be reminded that even though their parents are divorcing, they are loved and will be cared for. Make sure your children know that your problems are not their fault, and that they did not do anything wrong. Allow your child to express his or her feelings, without judgment, whether you think they are “right” or not.

While every child and every custody battle is unique, heeding the above advice will lessen the impact your custody battle has on your children.

As with practically everything associated with Jackson’s life, the answer to this question is uncertain. On one hand there is a will designating two possible guardians. On the other hand, there is a woman claiming to be the biological mother of the two older kids.

In a will dated July 7, 2002, Jackson designated his mother Katherine Jackson the guardian of his children in case of his death. He also expressed that in case his mother predeceased him or if she became unable or unwilling, the singer Diana Ross would be the guardian.  News reports say that Debbie Rowe, the woman to which Jackson was married for three years when his two older kids were born, is going to seek custody of her children. One Los Angeles news station claims Rowe even offered to submit to a DNA test to prove that she is the biological mother. Other news reports deny this.  However, the guardianship hearing set for July 6 has been delayed to July 13, allegedly at the request of Rowe’s attorneys.

Custody courts tend to favor a biological parent over a grandparent when deciding child custody disputes. However, Rowe voluntarily surrendered her maternal rights in an out-of-court settlement signed in 2006. It has been reported that Rowe obtained certain visitation rights and that she has been relating to the two older children for the last three years. Nothing is known publicly about how Rowe has related to the children. And, if that is true, why would she be offering to submit herself to a DNA test if her maternity has already been recognized?

It will not be surprising if she decides to pursue custody of these children. In that case Rowe will have to contest Jackson’s will designating the grandmother Katherine as guardian, and secondly, she will have to revoke the relinquishment of her maternal rights. Contesting the will and revoking her relinquishment are both extremely difficult things to do. To move a court to declare Jackson’s will invalid, Rowe will have to prove that Jackson wasn’t in his sound mind when he executed the document.

To revoke her relinquishment of her maternal rights she will have to prove that she wasn’t in her sound mind when she signed the document. The revocation of a paternal rights relinquishment is something that the law allows, but only in very extraordinary circumstances. The few cases in which the courts have allowed this, after the 30 day time period the law permits after the resignation, is when the use of violence, duress or mind altering substances has proven to be the reason why the parent “consented” to surrender his or her rights. In any case, the court considering this case, like in any other child custody battle will have to determine what would be in the children’s best interests when making the final decision.

Jackson’s two older children, Michael Joseph, 12, and Paris Michael Katherine, 11 were born at the time of his marriage to Debbie Rowe. A third boy, Prince Michael Joseph, 7, was born of a surrogate mother who has never been identified and later adopted by Jackson.  There is no dispute regarding the custody of the younger boy.

The judge leading the guardianship hearing regarding Michael Jackson’s children, scheduled to take place on Monday, July 13 will definitely have a rough time unraveling the child custody legal mess left behind after the singer’s sudden death on June 25, 2009.

According to a 7 year old will, Jackson designated his mother Katherine Jackson 79, the children’s legal guardian after his death. He also provided for a second alternative, singer Diana Ross in case his mother failed to survive him or became unable or unwilling to act as a guardian. KNBC in Los Angeles reported last week that the children’s biological mother, Debbie Rowe, would seek custody of her two children and a restraining order to keep Jackson’s father, Joe away from them. But, what rights if any does Rowe have on these kids?

Debbie Rowe and Michael Jackson got married in 1996. Three years later they were divorced. During that marriage Jackson’s two older kids were born: Michael Joseph Jr. 12, and daughter Paris Michael Katherine, 11. A third boy named Prince Michael Joseph, 7, was adopted by Jackson from a surrogate mother who has never been identified.

Custody of Jackson’s two older kids can turn into a bitter war if Rowe decides to pursue custody of them. While Jackson’s will is clear, it is still uncertain if his testament is valid or not. It has been only a week since the will was presented to the court for probate. If the will is determined to be invalid, or if there is a more recent will, a Pandora’s Box will be opened, and the road will be free for Rowe to pursue her plans.

Grandmother Katherine’s guardianship rights are subject also to the court’s approval.  Normally, courts do not assign custody to grandparents if a biological parent is available and willing to take custody of the children.  Now, the problem here is that supposedly Rowe voluntary surrendered her maternal rights in an out-of-court settlement subscribed with Jackson in 2006. Can Rowe change her mind and have her kids back now?

It is extremely difficult to overturn a voluntary relinquishment of paternal rights. That is the legal term for a parent to surrender his or her rights over a child.  Although California law recognizes a small window of opportunity to revoke a voluntary relinquishment, the window is very small (30 days) and it is way past due now. The law recognizes only a few extraordinary instances in which a biological parent can revoke the voluntary relinquishment of his or her parental rights after this time frame. These are the cases in which the consent wasn’t given voluntarily like in the case of use of force, or any other illegal means to obtain the parent’s consent, such as duress or using mind altering substances.

Like everything associated with Jackson, it is very difficult to predict an outcome in this situation because anything can happen. Hopefully this custody battle will have a happy ending.