Most people get divorced because they have a hard time getting along with their spouse and become tired of all the arguing and fighting. Despite this, so many people act surprised when their divorce is final and they are still having the same problems.
A good way to end some of the fighting with your former spouse it to create a parenting plan that is so detailed, it leaves little room for interpretation. Creating a detailed, comprehensive parenting plan may take some time, but it will be well worth it in the end when you factor in the future stress and misery and conflict you will be avoiding.
One of the most overlooked portions of a child custody agreement is the holiday and vacation schedule. Too many parents simply agree to “alternate holidays in even and odd years as agreed.”
As agreed? You are having a hard enough time agreeing on things now, as you make your custody agreement.
You couldn’t agree on anything when you were a “happy couple”, which is one of the reasons you are getting divorced in the first place. Agree? Not likely. You are going to need to get every possible detail that you can in writing so nothing can be left to the imagination.
The holidays are supposed to be happy and spent celebrating with family and friends. You shouldn’t have to spend them stressed out because your ex is giving you grief about the terms of your custody agreement. You shouldn’t have to worry that some of the tension may be felt by your child.
Taking the time to create a detailed custody agreement with specific holiday arrangements is a pre-emptive measure that will help keep the peace.
There are a few steps you should follow to make detailed holiday custody arrangements:
Identify the holidays and special occasions you would like to include. State and federal holidays, religious holidays, other holidays such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, birthdays, and other special occasions may be included. You should also include school holidays and vacations.
Decide when each holiday is going to end and begin. You should be very specific with the start and end times such as the Thanksgiving holiday shall begin at 6pm the day before the actual holiday and end at 6pm the day following the holiday.
Figure out how you are going to share the holidays. You may want to take turns alternating the holidays in even in odd years or you may evaluate each holiday individually and decide that the child will spend that holiday with the same parent every year (Yom Kippur with Dad).
You might decide that certain holidays will be shared in a similar way every year (Christmas Eve until 9pm with Dad, Christmas mornings with Mom, Christmas evening with Dad). Your family traditions as well as individual beliefs should factor in to your scheduling.
You are free to use a combination of the above methods to determine how you divide the holidays.
If you use Custody X Change to make your holiday custody arrangements you can enter all of the information include start and end times and all of your holidays and special occasions will be added to your custody calendar.
Once your details are saved, you can print calendars years in advance and you will always know what to expect. The calendar is clear and easy to read so there won’t be any confusion or bickering about whose turn it is.
The most important thing to keep in mind when creating your child’s holiday visitation schedule is it should allow your child to spend an equitable amount of time with each of you and it should be created with your child’s best interests at heart.
The extra time you spend creating the schedule now will pay off in the future and you will be able to focus on spending quality time with your child on the holidays.