Child psychologists agree that infants thrive with consistency and routine. Divorced parents may mistakenly feel this means that only one parent should care for the baby all the time while the other parent makes minimal visitations. However, the latest studies in child development show that infants fare better when they can form attachments to both parents.
Past Versus Present. Old-fashioned custody arrangements rigidly required infants to spend the majority of time with their primary caretakers, usually mothers. The non-custodial parents, usually fathers, were limited to visits that lasted only a few hours on the weekends.
These arrangements left little time for parents and children to develop bonds, which affected the relationships as the infants grew.
In the last decade or two, opinions have changed on what infants need from their parents. While loving parents challenged sexist stereotypes about parenting, modern scientific research revealed the importance of both parents in an infant’s life, even in their first few months.
These studies influenced child psychologists and child custody court judges to revise their opinions on healthy development for infants with divorced parents. As a result, today’s shared custody schedules for infants look much different than in previous decades.
Today’s Custody Schedules. Child development specialists discovered that even newborns are able to form lasting, healthy attachments with both parents, even when their mothers and fathers are living in separate homes. These experts now recommend that infants spend lots of time with both mothers and fathers after divorce.
Infants, especially newborns, do need to stay close to their primary caretaking parent, and should not be separated for long. However, both parents should have the opportunity to provide major caregiving tasks throughout the week, such as feeding, diapering, bathing and playing.
A successful, workable shared custody schedule for newborns and infants should include as many short, frequent visits from the secondary caretaker as possible. This can mean a visit of a few hours every day, or at least every other day.
Parents can schedule visits during the infant’s waking time to gain maximum interaction. As the infant matures and becomes comfortable with the secondary caretaker, visitations can be lengthened.
Infants develop healthy emotional attachments when they receive loving care from both parents. When it comes time for divorced parents to create a shared custody schedule, they must keep their baby’s best interests in mind by allowing plenty of quality time with both parents.