The end of the summer is approaching, and that means the kids are going back to school. If you have school age children, this can be an exciting time as they get ready for their new school year. The new school year can also bring up some custody and visitation issues that the parents need to work out. As your children get older, it’s important to be flexible with the parenting plan so it can meet the needs of your child. Here are some suggestions to think about for custody as your kids get ready to go back to school.
Discuss with the other parent about your child’s extra-curricular activities. As children get older–especially as they enter junior high and high school–they become more involved with school activities, clubs, and other things. You need to have a plan with the other parent how you will balance these activities. Is it okay if the child participates in something that interferes with visitation time? Do both parents need to give permission for the child to do something? Who will be responsible for transportation to and from sports and other activities outside of school? Extra-curricular activities can be a great chance for parents to show support for the child. And, parents can see their children more if they attend sporting events and other activities.
Think about any changes that need to be made to the custody and visitation schedule. If you know your child is going to be involved in a sporting event and the practices interfere with the visitation time, come up with a new schedule that fits around these practices. If your child is older, you may want to adopt a visitation schedule that is more flexible for the child. Perhaps they can choose what day of the week they’ll go visit a parent, or maybe it can be a weekly decision that the parent and child work out. As children enter high school, they may want to spend the majority of time at one home to establish their base. They will want to be close to friends and not have to interrupt their social schedule. Be aware of your children’s needs and if they are old enough they can give input to the visitation schedule. However, remember that you’re the parent and ultimately you make the decisions.
Discuss with the other parent how to manage the child’s schoolwork. If you have joint child custody, or your child spends some afternoons with one parent and the others with the other parent, you need to make a plan for keeping track of schoolwork and other school information. When children go back and forth between homes, it is easy for papers and other things to get lost. Consider keeping a folder that the child takes to each house so that each parent can see the important school information. Work with your child to organize the school materials so the child is always prepared for homework at either house. You may want to keep a communication log that your child takes to each parent so both of you know what’s going on.
Divide up school and other expenses between the parents. You and the child’s other parent should come to an agreement about who pays for extra-curricular and school expenses. Come up with a way that the expenses are divided and make that your policy so you don’t have huge arguments every time something comes up. Keep track of expenses so one parent doesn’t feel like they are paying for everything. Work with your children so they know how the expenses work and who they should talk to about the finances.
The school year can be an exciting time for parents and children to grow closer together through outside events and learning. Make the most of this school year with your child, and enjoy your custody and visitation arrangement.